crying/mom/nightmares - poss trigger

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, May 28, 2008.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    i've had a dream several times now -- but i'm starting to think its just the past coming back to haunt me - when my mom was very sick and dying i remember going into her room while a VNA nurse was there taking care of her and as i went around the side of the bed i remember vividly seeing the blood more than anyone should ever see in their entire life -- the image now haunts me - in every dream, it follows died of many things cancer being the main thing but she did of not eating or drinking, of blood loss - and i cant, i dont wanna remember -
    i hated her so much for messing up my life, i prayed annd prayed that shed die, i hated her then and i hate her now, she broke her promise when she first was diagnosed she said "ill be here, i promise" well shes not here is she......