Crying uncontrollably (and pretty girls sidenote)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Tink, Apr 23, 2007.

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  1. Tink

    Tink Member

    Do you ever get those days (I'm sure you willl say yes though) where you just can't stop crying no matter WHAT? It's insane! I just want to stop - my nose is raw and running and stuffy, my eyes are beat red and I can't see, I just can't STOP. It just goes on and on and on. Even if I stop for a minute it'll start up uncontrollably at any little thing.

    One thing in my life that is good is my boyfriend. When he says, "Smile, Sarah" or anything reassuring I just start BALLING. Why? Why am I crying my brains out when someone is trying to love me. Even just thinking about him makes me want to cry and cry. It gives me that tight feeling in my chest where I can't stop from crying no matter what. I hate it.




    On a separate note... You know all those girls who are pretty and have a great body and everything. Well people say that it doesn't matter - what matters is what is inside. That is total bullshit. You need both. I used to be both. I used to be thin, pretty, happy with myself, got noticed, etc. I was SO much happier then. You really DO feel a lot happier when you look good. At least I do. I've been there I know how good it feels. So all those pretty people who are all "life is awesome!" can suck it. Because yeah for them life must be great. Not so much with what I have now. :sad:
     
  2. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    wow crying when someone says thoughtful is very hard for me to comprehend...do you see anybody?? as for the pretty girls comment i find that most pretty girls are really insecure about their bodies...i have gone out with many girls and the more pretty she was the more problems i had...so keep your chin up and get some professional help
     
  3. Tink

    Tink Member

    yeah... I don't know why I'm doing that. It's like they just trigger my emotions that are already set on high. I also remember one time in middle school very clearly. I was on the bleachers in the gym during recess (it was too cold outside) and I had friends around me that cared about me and were laughing. But I just sat there and felt so empty throughout it all. And I remember clearly thinking, why am I so sad when there are people around me that like me? I don't get it. I had no problem with MYSELF... it's not like I hated myself or anything. I was just so SAD, like nothing I had would fill that gap. So retarded :(

    And about the girls, that's why I said you need both - to be confident inside and be pretty outside. I'm actually pretty happy with who I am as a PERSON... there are of course things I hate, but as a whole my mom always raised me to be really proud of who I am. So that's how I used to be. But now I hate my outside and increasingly my inside as well. I just feel that since I always feel so sad, life as a whole feels like a chore and is pointless kind of thing. :( I go through bouts of being really happy and then bouts of nearly killing myself. I dunno :(
     
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