Crying Wolf

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ~PinkElephants~, Mar 20, 2007.

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  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Crying Wolf

    How many times must a person cry wolf before it comes to the point where no one is willing to help anymore? How many times must a person say I am going to kill myself NOW before people look at it and just say yup, just another post? It's been getting to the point lately where all I've seen on the threads is I'm going to die this day, I'm going to kill myself now, or I'm going to OD in 12 hours. It's to the point where I've become skeptical of these threads and these people and I don't like feeling that way about other people, I want to feel that their feelings are genuine and that they really are in pain or really hurting. I don't bother reading these posts anymore which makes me sad. What happens when the time comes and you are really in pain? What happens when you reach out for help, will anyone be there? My feeling is if a person really wanted to die, really wanted to kill themselves, they wouldn't post they were going to off themselves on the thread, they'd go do what they felt they needed to do. I'll give an example, my dad's friend from work recently was battling a divorce, he didn't tell anyone, he didn't even leave a note, he just went and killed himself. I'm not saying that this is what I want for anyone at all, I'd rather you come here and post that you are hurting and that you are in need of someone to talk to or someone to even post to your thread to try and help. What I am saying is that post what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way, not that you are going to die in x amount of hours or that you are going to do it now. I feel that if you do post that kind of material you are looking for instant gratification that you are loved which clearly many people do care about you because they have posted numerous times. I don't know maybe it's me being my skeptical, paranoid self, always having to question why people do things, but think about hte question at hand, how many times can you cry wolf before enough is enough??? Thoughts and opinions please??

    Kells
     
  2. letdown

    letdown Guest

    I think it's hard to differentiate between people who are seriously considering killing themselves in X amount of time and people who have got used to communicating their suicidal feelings this way. If it's the former then I'd, personally, rather talk to someone who is relatively mentally stable then relying on people here, who, because of the nature of the board aren't going to be offering the best support at times like that.

    I think that perhaps people feel they aren't being heard, and they need to be heard- and the only way to go about doing that is to say I'm going to kill myself in X amount of time, because if they don't nobody is going to reply? That they see lots of replies to other threads like this? I can understand that too.

    I don't think it's simple as crying wolf though. I think there are genuine feelings of hopelessness here regardless of the title of thread. Then again, I don't read much from the suicide board so haven't had time to really notice things like you have. I see what you're saying though.
     
  3. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    I always I'll believe the words written, but, because so many memebers have become so socially connected to this forum, through alot of personal expression n meeting people, it's kind of seeming to be like .. I donno, seems like there's that option to when you're feeling low, instead of dealing with it yourself and fighting it, people have the option to call for help, or publically announce their moment of pain, and the support of others lifts them up or lets them know that people care. I mean, that's the point in real sense, but sometimes, it looks like that option is being slightly abused. I mean we all go through shit, sometimes lets say you go through shit 10 times a day or a week or whatever. at that 10th time all the shit has piled up and it's really killing you, and you need help so you talk about it, you call out for a helping hand or a real vent thats public. Sometimes though it seems that people vent publically at the first thing because they have the option to publically vent it out. I think there is nothing wrong with that to be honest, as long as theres an attempt at trying to overcome the problem. Sometimes I think that people overly saturate the feelings of the moment with the thoughts of killing themselves, when really they are just feeling really really low. Nothing wrong with that either, emotions n expression kinda get twisted, it's up to people who are trying to help to see through the emotional blurry walls and sand traps and see the core points that tie together for that person in pain, which make them feel and revert to the feelings of suicide.

    I still believe what people write, no matter how many times, no matter what. In the end id rather be played a fool than accuse someone of something, even if they are knowingly useing the cry for help wrongly, in the end it is still a cry for help, just in a different sort of way, and still just as dangerous.



    Its just draining, and im drained :( so i try to let other people who have more strength talk to people in crisis situations.. but i read em.. n believe em all, just, maybe more on a broader scale than the specific situation so much, but still believeing the specific situation.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2007
  4. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    I like this. :)(well, it's horrible, but the way you put it).

    I guess maybe people everytime people cry out for help they only get a helping hand up, but not with dealing with the real problem(s) that keep pushing them down. Kinda like a drug that gives you temporary reliefe
     
  5. letdown

    letdown Guest

    Also, sometimes though, that temporary relief (if anyone replies) can give someone strength to seek help in other ways? :smile: As for feeling drained, Blake, I know what you mean- and that's where looking after yourself and keeping yourself safe is also important. :hug:
     
  6. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    :)

    couldnt agree more :).

    i guess with every negative possibility theres a positive one aswell. feels nice to put your faith in the positive ones
     
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It is difficult to tell when someone is really at the point where they have made the decision to end their life when they have posted over and over these same thoughts. Each time must be taken seriously, but in crying wolf, they have jeopardized that seriousness. They truly may have felt that way each and every time, or maybe not, one never knows. In any case the need to be heard is evident. They must be hurting a great deal to reach out this way. You are right Kelly, sometimes I do not read some of the threads as soon as I should if it comes from someone who is posting this on a regular basis. I tend to come back to it after I have taken care of the others I feel need my immediate attention. I always do come back though. I answer if I feel I can add something, and don't if I feel what I have to say offers them no help. It can be very draining as Blake mentioned.
    I have to disagree on a point made by letdown. It was stated ".......I'd, personally, rather talk to someone who is relatively mentally stable then relying on people here, who, because of the nature of the board aren't going to be offering the best support at times like that." I feel we can offer a great deal of support here. Nothing against professionals or those "mentally stable". Sometimes your best support comes from someone who has been there, rather than someone who has just read about it. I know I turn to some of the people I have met here when I am in that situation simply because they do understand. I do tell my therapist about it as well, but she is not the first I turn to. She knows this and is quite comfortable with me talking it out with the forum members. I guess it all boils down to what you find to be most comfortable and what will suit your needs.
     
  8. letdown

    letdown Guest

    Yes, that is my personal preference, so peoples experiences will differ. To be clear, when I meant "mentally stable", I meant someone whom I know isn't going to be vulnerable from feeling suicidal from trying to help me when I am extremely suicidal. Because I have had friends who have had mental health problems, and helping can make me feel worse, I am acutely aware of the same possibility when it comes to others. Especially when my friends have said that it is draining and unsafe for them to help me further. I have to respect that. That said, people can empathise better when they've "been there", yes. To be heard in this way is very valuable.

    I completely agree with that. And also, people will have different experiences when using internet forums. Not everyone does get the same level of support.
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2007
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You are right letdown. Internet support is not for everyone. Not all can recieve the level of support they need. I also understand what you are saying about those being unable to help when they themselves are in the throes of suicidal ideations at the time you may need them. Sometimes you just don't have it to give anymore. It is crucial that you both recognize when those times are there. If you feel you cannot help someone in a crisis situation, you need to let them know that you can't and that it is not because you don't fell they deserve the help, but that you are not stable enough yourself to give them what they need. Sometimes we forget that we must look after ourselves if we want to be able to help someone else. It does neither party any good if you are drained of everything.
     
  10. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Why is it that the people that are in true pain and true agony get stepped on and ignored? Why is it that the people that cry wolf and the attention seekers get all the needed help? Why is it that hte people that are about to break get looked over and looked past? Why is it that the people that are just here to be here...even here?
     
  11. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    owhr i dont know :sad: :hug:

    wish there was someone to help everyone.. its hard to really help people with strong problems, but theres always someone willing to lend an ear and a moment. .. the people that 'cry wolf', i hope they get better as much as anyone.. i jus don dwell on it. its full of definitions, n i want my freedom of life away from those definitions.. dont think im makin sense.. jus maybe try to not worry about them n try to see the things that make life beautiful ..

    :unsure:
     
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