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Crysis :(

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by davida50000, Jul 28, 2008.

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  1. davida50000

    davida50000 New Member

    Things have happened today, and i dont know what to do now... But i will start from the beggining.

    Almost 2 years ago, my brother comited suicide by running infront of a moving train, of corse everyone was devistated.... As time went on things calmed down, of corse he will remain in our memory and heart, but now i just have to think about getting on with my life and not let it hold me back.

    Ever since i was young though, i used to clean, a LOT, i would clean the house from top to bottom every day, i loved it, everyone would mess it up again, but i loved doing it and making it look nice. A few years ago, i totally stopped, the house is more messy and i do very little other than sit in my room. I run an online gaming clan, but it is America, the reson i mention this is because i love america, and i talk to people from america EVERY DAY!!!

    I have wondered why i have changed so much, and tonight i found out. Me amd my mum had a really big argument tonight, about how i never do anything. I really want to move to America, and i then descorered that the reson that i wasnt taking pride in anything i do here, is because i dont like it, i love and i want to move to America, i feel i would fit in there better with people, places, and it just seems more my style.

    I told my mum that this is why i dont care about cleaning the house, taking pride in school and things. Its all because i just dont want to be here, i want to be in America, i know it sounds dumb, but i want to more than anything. I told my mum that i feel the only people and things i feel i can turn to are the people that i talk to from America every day.....

    She didnt like this, she got very upset, and she told me that if i could get one of the to sorta "let me live with them" then i could go tomorow... She has never sounded more serious to me.......

    All that stuff above, imagine it happening to you, and imagine you want it so much, its hard to explain in words, but so much has happened, and i just want to move to america and make a fresh start, in somewere that i HOPE i can fit in.

    So i can take 1 of 2 options now.

    The 1st one is:

    Stay in England, be upset with mylife and feel that i am going no were.... And maybe end up were my brother went... which i am sure will eventually happen, and it scares me.

    The 2nd is:

    Get someone in America to take me in (i think i can do this, i know them all VERY well). Take the big risk of tthings going wrong... and me not liking it... and having no one to turn to... and taking the easy way out and comitting suicide......

    Basically, im really scared..... I am totally serious, and i know this could change my life big time! I also beleive it could save me. Im in a huge dilema, i dont know what to do, i dont know who to turn to with a prolem this big, and quite frankly, im scared.

    Please help me :(

    Thank you for reading.

    - David
  2. Awwwww hon *hug i care about you and i *wub you im so sorry to hear about what happened to your brother. If i was old enough i would take you in and u can live with me. i care and im here to listen and to help you as much as i can. just never give up. *no dont its not worth it honey im here for you and i want you to know that you can count on me k. *hug take good care :biggrin:
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    moving to america sounds like a great idea. i lived there for 11 years. it was a blast. the hard part will be getting a visa - often american companies will recruit in the UK - keep an eye out for recruitment fairs. can i ask how old you are? i only ask because at a minimum you need to have graduated secondary school before you go. do you want to go to college? maybe you can take a program that has a semester abroad program, then you can go and study in the states.

    i am sorry about your brother. his experience does not have to be yours. you know better, and have more supports, like us here at SF, and if this isn't enough then you can always get a therapist, too. they can help you understand more about yourself and give you coping strategies.

    good luck!
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a good idea. It would be a new, fresh start and a new chapter in your life.
    Your not the only one who has thought that starting life in another country would be a positive. Sometimes we can relate to another country/culture alot better then the one's we are born in.

    So, I think you should go for it but make sure you have a back up plan if things go wrong and make sure you have every avenue checked before embarking over there.
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I think moving to america would be a good idea for you. It will give you a new start, you can clear your head, move on and start afresh. But i agree with Mystic you need a back up plan, and not suicide. Ther are other places and other opportunities. If you don't find america to be your thing there are other places you can go and other avenues you can explore.
    Good luck :hug:
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