Csi

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by twofeet, Mar 20, 2014.

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  1. twofeet

    twofeet Well-Known Member

    I write on this site when I am serious. When I feel fine, I completely forget about it. I don't want to think about it. If I get on that track, I'm usually close to gone. I have too much wonderful stuff to build and write and figure out.

    I'm not really suicidal. I have CSI, which I think is a real problem. Chronic, suicidal. I'm not really suicidal. Just exhausted to the point where I am lost. Can't remember directions. Can't remember how to spell. I almost killed myself April 18. Everything was set up. Then a friend stopped me. I was almost happy. I have too much to do.

    I haven't cut for twenty years. I don't want to die. I am just so tired until sometimes I wonder if I have slammed the car door and started the engine. Suicide is a long way over. Hurting is a trip. And tired... Tired is easy. Tired is sleep and prone.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi twofeet i am glad your friend was there for you Have you a pdoc or therapist that can help you when you are feeling so low or in so much pain to prevent you from acting again
    It is good you are reaching out here releasing some of emotion I hear you about the tiredness god i do hopeyou can get so rest when needed
     
  3. unionfalls

    unionfalls Well-Known Member

    Hi twofeet,
    I have this type of issue with my depression, when I am feeling good I leave it alone as long as I can. It always comes back though. Inability to function, sleeping a lot. Suicidal ideation. This time, for me, I have made agreements with therapy to continue going past the starting to feel good phase. For me to really be who I want to be, to get somewhat clear of the roller coaster, I can not continue to run from this. I do not like talking or thinking about it as it is painful. I hope you understand that, I hope you may be able to commit to a long term plan of treatment, it may be helpful, idk. I do hear you.
    tc
     
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