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cure

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#1
I have been fairly depressed for about 10 years. typical 'didnt realise it' till i had a crisis about 8 months ago and got so bad i couldnt get out of bed. ive been suicidal for those 10 years on and off,but always thought i was too cowardly to do it. id been thinking of cutting my self for years as well, but same think, not brave enough. well i got brave enough to cut myself 8 months ago, nothing serious, 4 scratches, didnt scar, and then about a month ago i did it again. ive been seeing my doctor who put me on anti depressants, which i came off, and a counseller. im back to 'normal' i feel, normal being suicidal all the time just not enough to do it. i hate living like this. Every one keeps telling me how much better ill bewhen im 'better', but its hard to believe. i think depression is with you alway, lurking at the back of your mind. has anyone ever been cured? off meds. no depression?
 
J
#2
Hey Fedup,


I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with depression for so long. I've only been attempting to deal with it for about 3 or 4 years now and that's felt like a lifetime so I can't even imagine.
ABout the cutting, it doesn't take someoen brave to actually cut themselves.. it takes someone brave and strong to either stop cutting themselves.. or not start at all. Also, I'm sorry you're feeling suicidal again, you say you're seeing your doctor.. if you're feeling depressed and suicidal again could you perhaps tell him ? did the anti depressants help for the time you were on them? maybe, if they worked, you could be put back on them.

It's true that things will be better when you overcome the depression and suicidal thoughts.. but of course it's hard work to get there. I know it's hard to believe.. that's something the depression does. When you're depressed you can't ever see it ending. Just going on forever and ever. But that's not true. It won't keep going on and on and on. it has to end sometime.. and talking to your doc. and getting help will help end it. I hope you hang in there and work with your dr.

I'm here to listen if you ever need or want to talk.

:hug:

Jess
 
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