I have been fairly depressed for about 10 years. typical 'didnt realise it' till i had a crisis about 8 months ago and got so bad i couldnt get out of bed. ive been suicidal for those 10 years on and off,but always thought i was too cowardly to do it. id been thinking of cutting my self for years as well, but same think, not brave enough. well i got brave enough to cut myself 8 months ago, nothing serious, 4 scratches, didnt scar, and then about a month ago i did it again. ive been seeing my doctor who put me on anti depressants, which i came off, and a counseller. im back to 'normal' i feel, normal being suicidal all the time just not enough to do it. i hate living like this. Every one keeps telling me how much better ill bewhen im 'better', but its hard to believe. i think depression is with you alway, lurking at the back of your mind. has anyone ever been cured? off meds. no depression?