Curious Question (Possibly Triggering)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Zurkhardo, May 24, 2009.

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  1. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    I've known many people who have cut, both from online and personally. I've never done so myself and have been tempted only in passing. I suppose I'm asking this more out of curiosity and so as to understand self-harming myself, so I'm dabbling in doing therapy work.

    How many people cut to see/feel blood as opposed to the pain aspect? Does blood do anything and if it does how so? I appreciate your honesty and apologize if the question was in any way too forward.
     
  2. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    when i used to self harm my reasons would be different every time.

    i can remember it used to soothe me to wipe the blood off me, yes. or seeing the blood on the tissue.

    i don't know. a lot of my self harming at home, when i was younger, were done in automatic agitated hazes to get 'away from my father' or to get 'him out of me' but i wouldn't cut deep, i'd cut a lot, it'd be like i'd be attacking myself and the blood was i suppose a sign/symbol/some truth that i hurt when so many people tried to deny what had happened to me over the years.
     
  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I didn't do it for the pain at all.

    I like to watch the blood. I'm not sure why, though.
     
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    That part felt the best for me. I'd try to go deeper to get more to clean. Definitely didn't do it for the pain...
     
  5. Rachel123

    Rachel123 Well-Known Member

    Hummmm It's different every time...

    Sometimes I'm not done until I cut deep enough.......Sometimes I have to fill my paper towel with blood....sometimes I need my arm covered in blood.....sometimes I need 50-60 cuts...Just depends....lol Weird that way...
     
  6. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    My cutting is dependent on my feelings, but overall there are three reasons that I do it:

    1. The Pain.
    2. The Blood.
    3. The scars that will eventually form.
     
  7. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    Guess pain would be it. Feeling alive is probably the biggest reason.
     
  8. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    I do it for two simple reasons. Emotional pain i cant deal with, physical pain i can. I transfer emotional pain into physical pain and it is a lot easier to deal with seeing as medication doesnt seem to help much
     
  9. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    My therapist recently came out with the statement matter of factly - that i cut to feel the pain - as if that is the only reason people cut. I told her that i don't do it for the pain, i dissociate from the pain so that i don't feel anything most of the time, that is why i find self harm so easy (not really the correct word to use!). Sometimes i do it to feel 'together' but blood is a big aspect for me. However, i'm only interested in cutting my arms so blood anywhere else on my body is pointless to me. So i guess it isn't just about blood, it is really about bleeding from my arms. Most of the time i self harm i cut to bleed but if i'm so out of it i can't get my act together enough to do so i will damage myself with anything at hand, which can't always cut through skin. That is more of a frenzy though and my head literally swirls with the word 'damage, damage, damage'. At that point i feel neither the pain nor obtain blood. So....i think blood confirms to me that i've done damage and it satisfys the swirling violent thoughts that plague me constantly.
     
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