curl up and die on the 14th. -___-

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by KittyGirl, Feb 4, 2010.

  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I'm so frustrated lately...
    I've never spent a stupid greetingcard day all alone in the past 10 years. That's half my life. -__-
    I don't want to spend it with anyone, either.

    I've been asked by several guys to go out on valentines day and said no to all of them. I feel like a spoiled fucking brat-- whining about what I don't get. >< The only person I want does not want me.
    I should feel flattered or something, right? Some people don't get asked out at all-- but I don't. I feel sick.
    These people who are asking me out don't know ANYTHING about the person I am now- nor do they care.
    Since J broke up with me; they said nothing... and suddenly they're like; "oh! Your relationship status has changed?! You're SINGLE now?! Holy shit! Go out with me!!"
    Fuck you.
    You were all assholes to me all through school. None of you give a shit about me. I've always been one of the guys- and now... what? Suddenly you realize I've got tits and an ass? That's wonderful, really. FUCKING GREAT!
    I wouldn't date you even if I were over him because you're not my type. sorry. no. die.

    Mom's doing something special with her boyfriend and afterwards, I'm SURE I'm going to be able to hear them fucking through my bedroom wall.
    I don't want this.
    It hurts and I feel so guilty for turning everyone down without giving anyone a chance and acting like a spoiled brat. I don't want any of this...
    I hate holidays- I hate boys and I fucking HATE VALENTINES DAY!!
    AGHH!!! Who came up with this stupid fucking holiday?! I'm going to kill them!
    There's nowhere I can go and nothing I can do to help the coming days go by fast enough...

    And I keep thinking about how J's going to write a poem for his new girlfriend and they'll go to see a movie and have a nice dinner... just like we used to do every year.
    All of the poems he wrote for me mean nothing now.
    The book he published for *me* isn't for me anymore! Nothing he did for me means anything because now he's doing those things for this replacement girl who looks EXACTLY FUCKING LIKE ME!!

    JUST KILL ME! >< AGHH!
     
  2. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    You could try just going out with some of your girlfriends. You don't have to spend Valentine's Day alone or at home...

    Hope you find what you're looking for.
     
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Mm...I wish I had some single girlfriends-- they're all married or have bf's...
    It's like- I don't want to be at home, but I don't want to be anywhere else either because everywhere I go- there'll all be couples.
    -___- stupid happy couples.
     
  4. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    Its sucks how this time of year can make all us singletons feel a lot lonelier. Your best bet is to try and get your mind off it that day. Read a book, watch a movie. Or take up that hobby you were meaning to try or chores you had to do, just do them then. Or you could try to do stuff with a bunch of your guy friends who are single. Then there's no feeling that its an actual date. Go bowling with them or something. Everyone goes through the single phase, yours just happens to be now unfortunately. I feel a lot of people who are in a relationship don't really spend much time focusing on themselves. Or maybe they don't have time for it cause they're always worried about their significant other. Think of it as an opportunity to do something for yourself that day without having to worry about anyone else.
     
  5. B'AWWW TIME

    B'AWWW TIME Member

    I know how you feel >_< Actually I was going to throw a "Fuck You" party, kinda an angry party for singles. The idea is also in some movie coming up called "Valentine's Day". I wanted to bake heart shaped cookies and break them all in half. Then I want to get a love-themed pinata and beat the crap out of it.

    I really only wanted to spend the day with one of my friends. But then he tells me that his boyfriend is going to be there that day and it's like wait ...since when were you and him dating? I'm angry that he thinks that he even has the gall to "celebrate" Valentine's with me when he has someone to come home to that night anyway. It's like going out and complaining with someone about not being able to eat dinner, and then going home to a pizza waiting for you in the freezer. I appreciate the support but knowing that he doesn't know how I feel kinda reverts it from "an experience" to "a pity party". Know what I mean?

    But anyway, on to you. I know how you feel when you can't get over someone. It's like you only want that person and nobody will ever be good enough. It's not like you're being selfish or anything; you might think that way but really you can't help it. I'm going through the same thing. Not a lot of people hit on me because I'm extremely shy in public but I think if someone ever did hit on me - even if they were cute - I'd have to say no, because of the one that got away. He's the only one for me, and I don't want to let go even if it causes me to suffer for the rest of my life.

    I think you should devote the 14th to you and you only. Maybe you can try throwing yourself a "Fuck You" party like I am, or at least find something to take your anger out on. I tend to buy myself a whole box of chocolates and angrily eat them while ranting out loud lol. Sounds weird but it helps. I might even see that "Valentine's Day" movie since it's about angry singles like us lol.
     
  6. TerrapinStation

    TerrapinStation Well-Known Member

    I usually devote eery Feb. 14th on which i hapen to be single to exploring Left Hand Path, dark magickal workings and drug consumption.
    This year I will be with one I love, though:IrishDoll:
     
  7. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    you sound like someone with a broken heart, although i am a boy (hate me if you like) i do know it can take months to get over it.i never tought i could cry over a girl i allways use to be the tough guy lol.also felt like shit for a long time and couldnt even watch or hear any other girl.now i am in pretty much the same situation as you are all my old friends have a girlfriend, are married or are even divorced allready and i am still alone so it makes contact pretty hard as they allways tend to do "nice familiy stuff". even though it is allready 5 years ago i still find meself guilt thinking about her lol.
    it needs time

    i am 32 and still dont regret i am alone because most of my old friends found themself in front of a judge allready to fight with their ex over the sharing of property car etc.good luck to them
     
  8. Vangelis

    Vangelis Well-Known Member

    Yeah I dislike V-Day, its more like gift giving day to all my friends, though I don't expect anything back. So I spend about 100 dollars on things and give them to all my friends, whom now most have gfs or wives or boyfriend/husbands. Don't let some commercialized stuck up holiday ruin ur mood, just treat it as just another day.
     
  9. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    Yeah, spend it with friends, its a stupid day anyway!

    Im spending it with my lil girl, cos like you, the guy i want doesnt want me... :hug:

    x