First of all I would like to thank everyone who's part of these forums, they are a great place for those lost souls searching, like me, to find a little peace of mind and hopefully for most, answers to the questions and uncertainties that haunt us all. Thank you. Only a month ago I came here in a desperate attempt to elevate some of my worries and to find some relieve from a rather distressing hurt, and now, a month later I think I might finally see that rope I can hang on to. I shall explain, when I look at myself, and my current situation, I envision a dark hole, a very deep pit in which I currently reside. In my case the well of darkness has mostly been created by myself, I have cemented these walls on my own, to shield myself from the outside world, but all I managed to do in the end was trap myself. So here I am, at the bottom of this well, with no place to go except for upwards. Now after so long a rope is once more dangling from above, waiting for me to grap on and start climbing. However... a large part of me is really afraid to start climbing this rope... because right now... I can't really fall anymore... but once I start climbing... that risk of falling increases, the higher I go and I am afraid I won't survive another nosedive like the last one. I started teaching this one person how to play guitar, we have gotten to know each other and I truly think he could actually be a most wonderful friend, something I haven't had in such a long time. Those damn insecurities however... oh how I despise you. Furthermore starting half-january I might be getting more students to teach to, more potential friends in the make I would say. However, all these things mean climbing that rope, with all the issues I have, all those concerns about my appearance, about my personality, myself in general. I don't know if I am going to make it. There is a chance this person will invite me over for newyears.... but there is also a chance he might not. I know I will be completely devestated if he doesn't, eventhough I know I shouldn't. I think I am placing too much hope into this one person to save me, to reach out his hand and pull me out. Because he does seem to want to, to be able to, and to have done so before with others. Anyway, I am going off topic, what I wanted to ask in this thread was... How do I go about the whole making friends angle? How do I set foot outside and try make something of my life? How do I grab hold of that rope and start climbing like there was no tomorrow without looking down? I haven't been this afraid in a while... Thank you for listening.