Current Situation - Progress!...Maybe

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Ralderable, Dec 30, 2012.

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  1. Ralderable

    Ralderable Active Member

    First of all I would like to thank everyone who's part of these forums, they are a great place for those lost souls searching, like me, to find a little peace of mind and hopefully for most, answers to the questions and uncertainties that haunt us all. Thank you.

    Only a month ago I came here in a desperate attempt to elevate some of my worries and to find some relieve from a rather distressing hurt, and now, a month later I think I might finally see that rope I can hang on to.

    I shall explain, when I look at myself, and my current situation, I envision a dark hole, a very deep pit in which I currently reside. In my case the well of darkness has mostly been created by myself, I have cemented these walls on my own, to shield myself from the outside world, but all I managed to do in the end was trap myself. So here I am, at the bottom of this well, with no place to go except for upwards.

    Now after so long a rope is once more dangling from above, waiting for me to grap on and start climbing. However... a large part of me is really afraid to start climbing this rope... because right now... I can't really fall anymore... but once I start climbing... that risk of falling increases, the higher I go and I am afraid I won't survive another nosedive like the last one.

    I started teaching this one person how to play guitar, we have gotten to know each other and I truly think he could actually be a most wonderful friend, something I haven't had in such a long time. Those damn insecurities however... oh how I despise you.

    Furthermore starting half-january I might be getting more students to teach to, more potential friends in the make I would say. However, all these things mean climbing that rope, with all the issues I have, all those concerns about my appearance, about my personality, myself in general. I don't know if I am going to make it.

    There is a chance this person will invite me over for newyears.... but there is also a chance he might not. I know I will be completely devestated if he doesn't, eventhough I know I shouldn't. I think I am placing too much hope into this one person to save me, to reach out his hand and pull me out. Because he does seem to want to, to be able to, and to have done so before with others.

    Anyway, I am going off topic, what I wanted to ask in this thread was... How do I go about the whole making friends angle? How do I set foot outside and try make something of my life? How do I grab hold of that rope and start climbing like there was no tomorrow without looking down?

    I haven't been this afraid in a while...

    Thank you for listening.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am glad things have a glimmer for you and hope that today works out.
    The important thing is that you now know that there is and will be ways out. Falling is not near as scary when you know that it is possible to find a way out again. There will always be setbacks but with the knowledge that despite how they seem at the time they are temporary you can direct you energy to finding ways up instead of thinking of the past.

    The only advice I can give for developing friendships is they take time and need to be based on respect. Be yourself, if you have to try to be somebody else to be friends it will be a strain as opposed to a help.

    Take Care

    Ben
     
  3. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Any change for the better, however minor is always a cause for celebration. Good work!
    :bubbles: :bubbles: :bubbles: :bubbles:
    (feel special, for I normally do not give out four :bubbles: for just any old reason :p)
     
  4. Ralderable

    Ralderable Active Member

    I certainly do feel special because of it! Thanks ;)
     
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