cursed...no heart left...it' all gone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by april13, Apr 15, 2013.

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  1. april13

    april13 New Member

    there really is only so much heart inside of a person. my husband left me after 25 years and i had not gotten over that when i met a married man who made me feel as rthough i might want to still go on living. i spent the last two years making him the center of my world....such a fool...and then his wife found out last week, he ended it. he gave me $2000 as a consolation prize..to get my teeth fixed. guess what? i went out for my birthday dinner on saturday night and lost my wallet. i emaileed him...he had kept his account open because he still wanted to be friends....and told him. his reply was to say that he ws tired of the drama and he was closing his email account...the one we hd shared. before his wife found out about us, he was "in love" with me and going to leave her. and of course having been left by my former husband, ibelieved it possible. i loved him...i stilll love him...but he doesn't loveme, and now i don't even have the moeny to get my teeth fixed as a consolation prize...and my ex husband is on his way to Hawaii while i contemplate a cardboard box on the sidewalk. i really see no point. i give my love so freely and with such passion and loyalty. money avoids me like the plague. i really really really just want to not be alive anymore.:sorrow:
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you reach out to a crisis line or your doctors hun and get some help ok The pain will eventually fade it will but for now work on YOU ok so you don't make the same mistakes again
     
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