Cut again after 9 months

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Auerbach, Jul 13, 2014.

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  1. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    I cut again, after 9 months. And i don't feel bad about it, it was either that or kill myself but I am too much of a pussy to kill myself. I hate myself and everything else.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2014
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: I'm sorry you felt the need to cut again, when you fall off the horse you get back on hun, 9 months was such a great achievement, you can do that again...just consider it a slip up :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2014
  3. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    I feel so bad and I do care now. After about four shots and two or three beers last night I was feeling really low again, really hopeless, and I know I could not attempt suicide, I did not want to do that, but I felt something had to give. So I decided that as soon as I got home in my drunken state, that I would cut and that it was i did.

    I feel so disgusted with myself, so ashamed. I feel so bad about this. When i used to cut in the past I would never care, it would not concern me nor did I see anything wrong with it, now i see everything wrong with it. I let myself down. The cut is not that bad or deep, it will heal just like all the other cuts in my past, but still, I feel so bad over this. My mother is very upset with me, she says she was going to take me to the hospital and if I do it again that she will definitely take me, well, I don't want to do this again mom, I feel horrible, doing this did nothing, and it is a different experience now than what it used to be in the past. I am sorry, so very sorry.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2014
  4. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    Thanks Petal for always being so kind and thoughtful.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Aww thanks honey :hug: I would seriously advise not drinking. I had to give up drinking completely because it got me so down, maybe try cutting down? Don't feel disgusted with yourself. Do you think honestly that you would have cut if you hadn't been drinking? I care about you :hug: ...also sorry for late reply, had a long sleep then work.
     
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