cutting again, this time is different

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by thepainwithin, Dec 13, 2010.

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  1. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    when i was 14 i "cut" myself for attention. i was young and stupid and thought a girl actually loved me. now, 6 years later, here i am again, this time it's different. im actually pressing down and drawing and blood and going over a spot twice to make it bleed.

    my body wont let me cut myself deep, it'll hurt really bad and my arm will jerk away.

    i dunno why im doing it, maybe im sick of holding back tears that won't flow when they should, or maybe im trying to cut open an escape for the butterflies that are permanently trapped where my ribs come together. all i know is that was for attention, from friends, from a girl, this is different, im actually seeing blood, there are no friends or girls in the picture.

    there is simply just pain.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 13, 2010
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Understandable you want the pain released inside you i hope you can get to your therapist who can teach you better ways to release that pain that sadness suffering Call someone okay get therapy so you don't harm you anymore. You need healing not more pain.:hugtackles::hugtackles:
  3. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    im scared of what i did today. im scared of myself. it's not me and im scared of how alone i feel. i have no friends or people to talk to. i dont know why i did it, there has to be a reason
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    a good therapist will help you figure out why. it's worth it.
  5. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    You need a friend, person in general, therapist, ... that will just listen to you. And if you feel the need again, they can distract you, you need someone you can trust so much that when you feel the need to cut, you know you can turn to them, and they will help.
    I'm not the best person to help, but if you do want to talk, you can always contact me. ;)
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