cutting again

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by letty, Mar 11, 2013.

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  1. letty

    letty Banned Member

    I had stopped cutting for about a month or two, but lately my health has caused me to want to wack away ,
    from the vomiting to the raised viral load 160,000 it should be undetected 0, to one person telling me they dont want to talk to
    me any more, to another saying they give up on me, all this and all i want to do is cut away all these thoughts. i just had to get it out. i am sorry for complaining.
     
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    So sorry you feel so bad. Wish I could help. Hugs.
     
  3. letty

    letty Banned Member

    Thanks for caring and for listening
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    oh hun sorry people just are so mean at times please dont harm you hun hugs ok
     
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Hi letty,


    Sorry to hear you are not doing so well. Is your viral load raised because you are vomiting so much your body is not having chance to absorb the pills before you vomit? When My fiance had cryptospordium he could not keep his meds down for very long so they had to give him them IV along with IV anti sickness.
     
  6. letty

    letty Banned Member

    Thank you TE, it seems when reality about the illness settles in people back off and change a little towards me, i understand it just hurts,

    Hi Lexi, thanks for the advice, I am trying to getting a new DR, maybe he will do that. I know you understand how frustrating it all can be .
    i feel i want to stop trying. somedays its too hard to get up and shower, i hurt my loved ones by always being sick, cutting helps relieve the stress
     
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Awwww letty you are not hurting them, you can't help being ill and at the moment you have a lousy doctor. I think getting a new doctor is a good idea, whatever med regime you are on now clearly is not right or working for you, and there are several other med combinations you can try.
     
  8. letty

    letty Banned Member

    thank you Butterfly, I wish they would understand, i am not asking for their sympathy I just wish for them to not push me away , i hate myself so much i sometimes think i should just let the HIV have its way.
     
  9. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    No hun, you are much stronger and better than that :hug:
     
  10. letty

    letty Banned Member

    thank you Lexi i wish i was stronger, i wish i wasnt such a flake and crumble when things get hard to handle,
    I find myself having to cut, thank you everyone for your help
     
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