cutting again

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by goneforever, Sep 19, 2013.

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  1. goneforever

    goneforever Active Member

    My name is ryan im 26 and I've recently started to cut again. I started when I was 16 I've cut almost everywhere on my body and still have the scars to this day. Recently I have become increasingly depressed and picked up a razor which becomes all to familiar and slowly ran it all the way down the side of my chest. I remembered right away how good it felt when I saw the blood run down and the sharp pain/chills ran up my body. It makes me feel it makes me feel alive.. in a way nobody ever could for me. I don't know what to think now.
     
  2. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    I'm in the same boat as you, I started again too and it is allllll to familiar. Reading this gave me chills. What do you want to think? I think that eventually there will be someone or something that can make you feel the same, it can't be impossible. But your not alone and I'm here to talk.
     
  3. goneforever

    goneforever Active Member

    i dont think there will ever be anyone to fill the void in my heart because everyone one I've ever been with just screwed me over. I just wanted to have a family settle down and have a nice life but I am now put into this position where all I think about is suicide and hurting myself. I know I wont make it out of my 20's and I honestly never expected to make it this far. I've just come here to let out my emotions because I have nobody else. Thanks for showing interest though
     
  4. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    You have people here to talk to. And if you have made it this far then you can go farther. Just focus on yourself for awhile. Do what you want to do and family, settling down will come at the right time. Voids, like an empty cup are meant to be filled. Just take the time to let it fill up. But focus on yourself first after everything may fall in place. I really hope the best for you, I think you can make it out of your 20's. don't let the people who screwed you over keep screwing you over again by making you feel this way.
     
  5. Special-Agent-Gibbs

    Special-Agent-Gibbs Safety and Support SF Pro SF Supporter

    Hello-

    I understand how you feel I have been there too. I am sorry you are in so much pain right now. I hope that you are okay. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk.

    Stay Safe,
    Special-Agent-Gibbs
     
  6. goneforever

    goneforever Active Member

    i cant help that i enjoy hurting myself pain is my escape
     
  7. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    What about other pain like running?
    I don't think i have ever asked you if you have tried the ice cube thing?
     
  8. goneforever

    goneforever Active Member

    my razorblade is there when I cry.. my best friend till I die

    take my pain away.
     
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