Baah I can't sleep. I used to cut, almost 3 years ago. I managed to stop 2 years ago. Back then, my friends were not the most supportive beings, they just told me to stop being stupid, but I don't blame them, I figured they were scared and didn't really understand. I spoke to a few people who did, though, and they helped me more than they imagine. Lately, that is, for a few months now, I've felt desperate. I have no idea what's wrong with me. Well, I do, I moved to another city and I miss my old life. But I don't think that's all there is to it. Anyway, I'd start crying and screaming and kicking everything I could, slapping myself and all, and I'd feel really scared I'd do something "stupid" like cutting or quite simply kill myself. I'd feel like I could really do it, like I was just one step away, like I could just snap my fingers and it would happen.. okay, I'm being confusing. Point is, I was terrified I could actually kill myself. I felt worthless and alone. I feel worthless and alone. It's been going on for a while, like I said, for a few months, 3 months to be more precise. And tonight I actually cut myself. Again. I regret it already, I don't think my friends will understand it, since they didn't 3 years ago, my parents would certainly not understand, like they don't understand that I'm under a lot of stress at uni, and I really don't know who to turn to. I hate my arm already and it obviously hurts like hell. I don't want to go back to having to hide it from the world, but I certainly don't want everyone to know about it. I don't know what to do. I'm scared I might do it again. I don't even know what I'm doing with this post. I just need to get this out. To people I think will understand and won't tell me I'm stupid. Thanks for reading.