Cutting Experiences. *Not meant to trig*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by luciano, Aug 14, 2006.

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  1. luciano

    luciano Guest

    I was wondering what other peoples experiences has been on cutting. I have never cut myself on purpose but have thought of doing it for a while. I was planning on doing it on the upper part of the arm so that it is hidden from view. I just wanna feel something else than what I feel inside and focus the pain elsewhere. I know sometimes it feels good, and doesn't it release endorphines or something like that?
  2. One who listens..

    One who listens.. Well-Known Member

    Well, I personally have done it once, then immidiantly stopped and pretty much screamed in my head "WHY THE **** WOULD ANYONE DO THIS TO THEMSELVES!' Maybe I was in the wrong frame of mind, or cut a little too deep, but it hurt like freaking hell.

    My GF though, she used to cut herself a lot until we started going out, then I steered her away from that. She said she used it as a way to relieve mental pain, by masking it with physical pain.

    Personally, I just don't like the thought of parting my own skin.
  3. theredcrow

    theredcrow New Member

    I've never cutted myself. But I *mod edit - sadsong - no methods please*. It gives a warm and comfortable feeling. I'm not up to hurt myself. Just to get a nice feeling SOMEWHERE in me.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 17, 2006
  4. switch

    switch New Member

    I cut for years, but apparently not enough? I had a humiliating experience recently, when I got chatting with a girl and she asked if I had any scars. I showed her my arms and wrists and she did a little snort-laugh and said 'look at mine.' She had huge glass-piece slashes all up her arms and said she'd been drunk whilst doing it. I was mortified that somehow my scars weren't big or nasty enough.

    I know it's so foolish to do macho scar comparison but I really felt like a failure.
  5. Think of it this way;

    You have huge scars on your body, you feel so ashamed to even show your body, but when it comes to showing it, the person who you show it too gets scared and runs away, or mocks you because of it.

    My cutting experiences have been quite.. traumatizing.
    I first cut when i was 9, i did actually like it, i was in control, i felt calmer, i felt happier, but when i was 11, i got some glass one day, and just out of the blue cut my leg, thats the first time i had to go to hospital, i had i think 6-8 stitches, that scared the hell outta me.
    When i was 10, i cut my wrist with a knife, i still have a faint but i think perm scar to that night. I was only 10, and i knew how to cut myself with a knife, it hurt like hell!
    Around 4 months ago, i hit the stage of 'cutting with the blade out the razor', i figured how to take the blade out, cut my arm, have around 10 scars, 1 long, wide, deep one right in the middle, and 2 which are lumpy, i think its part of the process for healing because they were so deep, either way, i had over 20 stitches for all of them, its really traumatizing, because i thought id die that night, the blood was so hot, and was so, i dont know, the amount that came out, it was so much.

    They are the experiences of it, the traumatizing ones, and well, nights ill never forget.

    I dont think you should start, its addictive, it really is, i have started writing words now in my chest, at first you think you are in control, fine with it, but soon, you wont be, its all you dream about, want, live for, think about, i recommend NOT starting. Most cutters would say the same.
  6. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    I also agree with Sycotic Sarah. I'm trying really hard to stop cutting. It's been almost four days.. But yea, I used to read books on people who would cut themselves and I always wondered why they would cut themselves. I now know why. It is VERY ADDICTIVE. As I said, I'm trying to stop. It seems impossible to quit. Remember this though: "Some of the easiest habits are the hardest one's to break." before you try anything that has a possibility of becoming addictive.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2006
  7. LtRoarke

    LtRoarke Guest

    I personally have never purposefully cut myself, but I wanted to encourage you to not begin cutting. As some people have posted, it is a hard habit to break, not to mention a dangerous one. Instead of cutting to release your feelings, why not try writing down what you feel? Be as creative as you want with that...journalise them, get poetic, write a get the idea. Best wishes to you, luciano.
  8. BelovedDreamer

    BelovedDreamer Well-Known Member

    It's both physically and mentally addictive. DO NOT! Do NOT start, please.

    My experience has been that, for that one second of pain and release, it feels almost-freeing, but afterwards there is this shame and guilt and despair everytime I see the scars. And they're permanent. For the rest of my life I will never be able to wear short sleeves without remembering the period of my life that caused them. If you choose to start cutting, think it through as carefully as you would the decision to start shooting heroin. It's massively addictive, has permanent effects, the "beneficial" results last only for a very short time, it can end up being surprisingly expensive (emergency room visits, bandages, agents to fight infection, etc) and people do not tend to empathise very well with it. Eventually, I've found, it gets to the point where it's not something you do for relief anymore, so much as something habitual, like smoking, that is just a part of your day, the effects that once provided a release become necessary and don't even offer that same sense of freeing something. You keep cutting deeper and deeper to reach the same effect and eventually you do major damage or you just run out of places to cut. Don't start. It's dangerous. I thought that I would be able to stop eventually, but it's just not that easy. And it will not give you what you need.
  9. Gloomy_Sunday

    Gloomy_Sunday New Member

    i also did it for years from early teens til my 20s and a few times in my early 30's. i never really saw it as addicting. it was merely a form of release and the state of mind your in that compels you to do such a thing i cannot accurately describe. its almost as a last resort where you feel completely and utterly hopeless and full of despair. you feel there is nothing left, nothing else you can do, and nobody to go to. since then i have "alternated" methods of release and gone from alcoholism to eating disorders. of course i never realized why i did any of it until i got older and looked back. i never realized i had switched one form of self destruction for another. currently i'm in eating disorder mode which is not healthy either but seems to affect others less and doesnt seem to destroy my life as much as the other two things did. please try to find someone to talk to instead. i didnt have anybody but a lot more resources are available now today than there were in the early 80's when i needed them. nobody had really heard of cutting back then.
  10. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Luciano, please do not EVER start cutting. One you stop its so damn difficult to stop again. I dont even know how long I cut for... lost track of time. But really, dont. Its not worth it, and it only really makes things worse. Sure it might seem that things are better for it, but its false and not real. Try to find another alternative to cutting, there are plenty of them. And please dont start cutting. I know that basically anyone who has ever cut will agree with me on this. Its not worth it to. And if I knew what it would come to, I dont think I'd have ever started cutting.

  11. rachypooh

    rachypooh Well-Known Member

    Sorry for caps but had to get point across, I started cutting when I was 10 and I'm 21 now and have ended up in hospital numerous time to get 'fixed' up. Not fun at all. It is so addictive and one of the hardest things to stop.
    You need to find something else to do like, write, read, talk, post, email, text, run, clean, exercise. anything but self harm. Sure it might make you feel good but it is only for a little bit and causes more long term pain and makes things twice as hard to deal with.
    Find something else to do in those times, cutting just isnt worth it
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