I've been crying for a while...i was so angry at first and then i just felt this grief. Its seems so stupid. I'm not sure why I'm so bothered and hurt.
This is hard to explain without reference. I'm very outspoken online and publicly about blm. Anti bigotry, anti homophobia, anti trump. Especially at this time. And i have been seeing it with others and their families. Being torn apart. I was never close to my more astranged family and i'm deffinetly not now.
A cousin posted about me; she (married to a cop) takes my stance on police reform and accountability negatively. Even so much as to say i want to kill all cops? I was so confused but what ever. Pissed at her yes. More family agree with her, and then go on to demeaning me for how i dress and post online.
And my mom has seen this. And my sister liked it...neither said a thing to me or in my defense. I know my mom is pro trump, she's racist lite. she never outright says shit but idk how to say it. she always said she didnt want me to be like the family tho... taught me to love everyone reguardless, even though i know her veiws are different. which i get because my grandfather is extremely racist and i my great grandfather would have loved the kkk...
Thats the white side of my family. Im half peurto rican and i don't know that side. My dad, ths man who raised me...isn't by blood but he choose to be there and i still have him. He's not the same...but i question it because of my moms side and it hurts to even think that way about him. But i feel like i lost my whole family in my heart in a few moments.
I was never like them and as i got older i grew further from their veiws. But i never thought how they did and i alway thought maybe im not really related. It always bothered me and i always would correct them when they said stupid shit. Again things i never heard from my dad.
I'm just very distraught and i don't want to bother my friends. They are all going through a lot right now.
This is hard to explain without reference. I'm very outspoken online and publicly about blm. Anti bigotry, anti homophobia, anti trump. Especially at this time. And i have been seeing it with others and their families. Being torn apart. I was never close to my more astranged family and i'm deffinetly not now.
A cousin posted about me; she (married to a cop) takes my stance on police reform and accountability negatively. Even so much as to say i want to kill all cops? I was so confused but what ever. Pissed at her yes. More family agree with her, and then go on to demeaning me for how i dress and post online.
And my mom has seen this. And my sister liked it...neither said a thing to me or in my defense. I know my mom is pro trump, she's racist lite. she never outright says shit but idk how to say it. she always said she didnt want me to be like the family tho... taught me to love everyone reguardless, even though i know her veiws are different. which i get because my grandfather is extremely racist and i my great grandfather would have loved the kkk...
Thats the white side of my family. Im half peurto rican and i don't know that side. My dad, ths man who raised me...isn't by blood but he choose to be there and i still have him. He's not the same...but i question it because of my moms side and it hurts to even think that way about him. But i feel like i lost my whole family in my heart in a few moments.
I was never like them and as i got older i grew further from their veiws. But i never thought how they did and i alway thought maybe im not really related. It always bothered me and i always would correct them when they said stupid shit. Again things i never heard from my dad.
I'm just very distraught and i don't want to bother my friends. They are all going through a lot right now.