Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Blackness, Apr 13, 2007.

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  1. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I always said I would never cut myself. But 2 days ago I did. I was so upset and in a terrible state. So I used a steak knife to cut my wrist a few was really deep or anything though.
    The thing is though that about I had done it, the emotional pain seemed to disappear. Has anyone else experienced this?
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    cutting can feel like a release. ie, physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain. But I urge you to get some support and help for this before it gets too far. The longer you leave it before you get help, the worse things will be and you will probably find yourself in a right mess.

    self harm may feel like a good short term solution, but actually, it solves nothing. There are far better strategies for dealing with inner pain, and with hlep you will find them.

    Do you want to tell us what it was that made you self harm in the first place?

    Hang in there and please get yourself some help.
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I can't get help. I have no one to tell and my parents would never understand, I've been depressed for over 2 years and have never spoken to any "professionals" about it. I'd had to suffer in silence and wear fake smiles. The day I cut myself, all things inside me had just built up and i need a release.
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    What about a doctor? Or teacher if you are at school.

    Why is it that you CAN'T get help, as opposed to don't want to, for whatever reason.

    You might be surpirsed with your parents reactions. Most likely they will just want you to feel better. They may react in a manner that shows anger (sometimes parents do) but that is a cover emotion for fear, sadness, confusion, and many things. Maybe you could find stuff on the web and print it off and show it to them.

    You don't need to wear a fake smile, even if it feels like you do. Why have you kept it hidden?

    You may not believe it, but things will improve. What did you get from harming yourself that caused the release?

    Hang in there
  5. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    we moved house recently so I dont have a doctor. I am at uni. If I went to a doctor my parents would have to know.
    I have heard them talk about mental illness...they dont believe in it. And I think I've done such a good job of hiding it that if I came out and said "i want to die so badly" they would think I was joking...

    I just have to keep going on in silence in the hope that one day it'll pass....
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You are at uni so old enough so that your parents don't need to know if you go (in the UK, I'm not sure how insurance works in other countries).

    You could register at a doctor.

    Alternatively, you could talk to the student welfare team at uni. They will also be able to offer you help. Not as much as the docs, but there is certainly no reason that your parents would ever know.

    I used to put on a front, and was the same as you. Hell, I still do. I've sat in A&E after ODs or cutting or whatever, laughing and joking. But a front hurts. The longer you have it on, the longer it hurts you.

    People often think that mental illness does not exist, through ignorance. They don't have enough knowledge about the subject, so if they were educated, then it could change their opinion.

    Ultimately it is your choice, but

    this is so wrong. It may be how you feel, but that's not the way it has to be.
  7. i do it i use a box cutter though the reason the pain goes away is because its destracted by the pain you give yourself. I know its better to cry than to numb the pain try sometime it does help.
  8. jjustme

    jjustme Guest

    Try to stop now,,, It's easier when you just started... How longer you're doing this how harder it is to stop... Try to find another thing to ease your pain.
    Good luck:hug:
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