Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Doug1027, Nov 12, 2009.

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  1. Doug1027

    Doug1027 Active Member

    Recently I began to cut myself with a razorblade. Not really to kill myself, I've tried that different ways but never completed the job.

    What's the deal with cutting? I've heard of angsty/depressed teenage girls doing this. I'm a 28 year old guy. The thing is, it helps. Why is that? Does anyone understand the phenomenon?

  2. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    My understanding is that cutting gives you a sensation of pain which makes you feel alive and give you a rush. Don't get into it. It can be addictive, and it is a bloody stupid thing to do. You'll have scars and low self esteem. Stop now before you get too into it, and if you do you won't stop.

    Don't do it.
  3. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I agree with Tobes, don't do it.
    It's really hard to stop, and it will make you feel worse.
  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I suggest you tell your doctor. You have feelings built up inside of you and good therapy can help.

    In the meantime, keep posting here, maybe even start a diary and read the diary of others.

  5. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I'm a cutter too, I'm not saying it's the thing to do, but there's so much inside you don't know how to cope, right? Therapists help.
  6. molsen187

    molsen187 Member

    cutting gives you a release, it lets you know you are still alive cause you feel something. also going out and doing things and becoming involved with stuff lets you feel that. i know its a lot easier said than done, trust me, but sometimes is better to force yourself out and experience life. find something you like to do and see if there are any local clubs or meetings about it. there are other ways to know you are alive besides hurting yourself.
  7. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Yes, the majority of people who SI are female between the ages of 13 to 25. This can be deceptive though. I started when I was a teenager, but now I am 56 and still doing it (I had stopped for 26 years but began again). The people who SI are as young as 8 and as old as myself. Men also do it. Do not think of it as a problem of one sex and age group. Anyone can and does SI. I will also echo the other posts do not begin. Any form of SI can be dangerous and addictive. Good Luck
  8. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I cut and I'm 29. Quit at 21, started some weeks ago again. It's not the solution, but between killing yourself and that? It's just to cope, oping for better days. Tell us if that's the same for you.
  9. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Mission to Hell, So true SI is often a coping method to prevent suicide. It should not be confused with a suicide attempt though. SI is purely a coping method not a suicide attempt. I too would like to find out whether Doug1027 is using SI to generally cope or to prevent suicidal feelings.
    (I do NOT advocate SI as a means to prevent suicidal feelings)
  10. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    It depends alot on the reasons. Some people harm since it's a way to keep control of something, they feel that they may be able to gain control if they do this, since it's personal. It's their's. Other people do it as to forget emotional pain, replacing it with physical pain. By doing this, they're have something else to focus on at the time. Others do it for the adrenaline rush too. There are many reasons people may harm, and many different ways in doing so. Once you're addicted though, it's extremely hard to stop. You'd try, but then you'll have the urge, and you'll give in to the urge, and it could repeat like this for a long time. Then, you start to think about how much you don't like it. How you've lost control and you don't know how to gain it. Your life can revolve around it. Then after a while, you'll start to run out of room, and then you'll need to go deeper. You have to start covering them, then the scars they leave behind, and you end up feeling like sh*t for doing it, worse than when you started.

    Stop now while you can. Trust me, it's not worth it.
  11. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    Doug, don't get into it please.

    I once cut myself very badly. Now I live with nerve damage and I can't use my left hand properly... And that was the first time I cut. When I held that knife, I could never have realized what was going to happen a few seconds later... That it would be this bad today... It's the same with you I bet, you never know in advance what is going to happen with you in the long term.
    Just the fact that I have butchered myself like this makes me suicidal, and in contradiction I sometimes want to cut even more just to get silence in my head. But it would get even worse I know. I live with the damage now
  12. Doug1027

    Doug1027 Active Member

    Hey all. Sorry to hear that some of you have had such problems with cutting yourself. Wish I could help, I've always cared more about others than myself :)

    I -am- suicidal, but I don't think this is coping with it, though it might be related some way.

    It also has nothing to do with "feeling alive" I feel very alive. That's half my problem. I'm incredibly fed up with how utterly boring life is and am extremely lonely. I go out -a lot- but it always ends up making me feel worse. I guess I get my hopes up that I might meet someone I like, "platonicly" or otherwise.

    This started as a curiosity. The first time I did it I was curious what it felt like when people slit their wrists for either suicide or self mutilation/infliction.

    Last night when I did it.. I'm not sure why I did it really. I guess that's why I hopped on here and talked about it.

    Be good everyone.

  13. kiki_khaos

    kiki_khaos Member

    It's hard to stop once started. I still do and have been for at least 6 years now. Some of the scars are really horrible.

    And I do think its a bit of a release from everything.

    I'd say the choice to do it is up to you, whether or not you want to live with consequences that follow.

    Ps, I do honestly think that with every action, there is a consequence, whether it be good or bad.
  14. RobinLark

    RobinLark New Member

    It sounds as if everyone's motivation differs. In the past, I've had several bad cutting incidents when I was filled with extraordinary self-loating. It wasn't a way to feel something as others have indicated for themselves... I felt far too much, all the time. I believe it was a way to punish myself for not being able to make myself better NOW.

    I hated the way I felt & felt totally helpless & hopeless to change it. I also felt so abused by everyone, it was a way to abuse myself. I had spent a lifetime of hiding how I felt from everyone... no one ever knew about my suicide attempts or dark horrible nights alone. I looked too pretty, too happy, smiled too much, was too well dressed. It was all a front... I had to work & make a living... but the cutting I think was also a way to show the outside world how much pain I carried inside. No one ever paid attention or assumed I could be in pain. It was a silent scream of "I'm dying inside".

    Now, I must never wear short sleeves, otherwise I get horribly judgemental looks, thoughtless questions & disgusted stares. Even professional makeup does not cover them. I look & feel awkward in the summer & am quite uncomfortable having to stay covered up. I did the best I could always & I am ashamed of nothing... covering my arms & legs with scars is one of the few things I wished I'd never done.

    If you can cope without cutting yourself, please don't. At least for me, it didn't make me feel any better afterwards anyway.

    Take care.
  15. perfectempire

    perfectempire Active Member

    When you get hurt, whether it's self inflicted or not, pain relieving neurotransmitters are released. Cutting works and is addictive because of the chemicals your brain releases upon self injury. You are hooked to those chemicals. That's the "phenomenon". The best thing to do if you want to stop is to wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you feel the urge. It will hurt just as much and may even cause swelling. Your brain will release the neurotransmitters to help you cope with the pain. You'll get your fix without leaving any scars and without the risk of infection that comes with opening your skin. Get a good counselor/therapist and get to the bottom of it. To get the most out of your therapy, be completely honest.

    Hope you feel better.
  16. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with perfect empire...I have only cut a few timesAnd just looking at the scars was enough to deter me from doing it anymore..I have to wear shorts that come down to my knees so noone sees the scars..I can't honestly say it helped.. It just made me more confused about the way I was feeling..Please stop now..Scars are forever and people just don't understand..
  17. Doug1027

    Doug1027 Active Member

    I think the way I feel is much the same as RobinLark. It does seem there are a lot of different reasons why people inflict pain on themselves.

    I have more self loathing than I know what to do with.

    Thanks again, everyone, especially Robin, you really struck a chord.

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