Hey, i know it's hard :console:
i know you are so tired of fighting and struggling with this. It can be exhausting and draining. You know, you've not had much help with it either...no meds or therapist. I think you've been doing pretty well considering you've not had appropriate resources. :hug: You've been so strong, hun. You can get through this. I believe in you. You can lean on us. We will help.
ummm...hey, not a good idea sweetie with the methods. :console: i am concerned about you. You are under so much stress. :hug: None of us want to lose you. You are too important to us.
look. you do the best you can on the tests, and try to be okay with that. you are not feeling well, try to be gentle on you? You cannot be expected to perform at a tip top level when you feel like this. It is a struggle. You are doing the best you can. --and that is good enough. :console:
i am very concerned about;" ..at least they got me to get the only method i have more ready to go today..."
How can we help you be safe, so you won't turn to your method? Do you know what happens with that choice? It takes about a month if you don't get treatment. You could change your mind in a month and it could be really bad as you cannot undo things. Perhaps you could dump it...and instead come here and talk? Look, we want to keep you around. Instead of turning to your method, could you please give yourself a chance first, and reach out and talk to all of us? Could we at least get a commitment out of you that you would first talk to us?
This place can be an anchor of sorts when one is feeling like using their methods. Post on the forum, sit in the chat room. Chat is good for that. Don't sit with your method, keep it far away, and sit in chat...it can kind of ground you and help divert your attention...talk if you can. Contact some of us. Just keep talking, reaching, leaning. You deserve to give yourself a chance. You are a good person and you have a good heart. Trust me on that one.
I also think it might be helpful if you talk to Lightbeam. He can give you some really good tips and is a good hearted fellow.
:hug: xxxxxxxxx
please be safe?