Cycle of belief

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by JobForAVictim, Nov 4, 2007.

  1. JobForAVictim

    JobForAVictim Well-Known Member

    Why the fuck do I have to be like this?
    I just went from being a devoted Christian to an atheist. Again.
    I tend to play out this struggle about once every two or three months.
    I assume next I will do the Buddhist thing again.
    I do that one every two or three months too.

    Wherever I go, I end up back at the same place I started.
    And I never gain anything but more emptiness.

    I can't wait to die.
    I'm going to go hurt myself now.
    Maybe it will let me tolerate this stupid cycle a while longer.
  2. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    To your satisfaction, you feel like you've found your niche and fallen inside. Suddenly you're attacked again by a new riot of unanswerable questions.

    But don't be so hard on yourself. These are trying times for you. When we(as people)'re having difficulties, we tend to search for something --anything-- to make it better. That's self-preservation. When said "something" doesn't work, we try our other options. That's all you're doing. You're searching for a solution.

    The issue is whether or not you're going about it in the right way.

    Self-harm won't do anything for you but agitate self-dislike, though I can't say I don't understand.

    It ain't easy. None of it's easy. You should allow yourself some slack.

    You're only human, and probably stronger than you think you are.

    Hold tight.