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dad just died . what things do i have to do ?

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Takotsubo, Mar 28, 2013.

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  1. Takotsubo

    Takotsubo Well-Known Member

    he died battling cancer A.L.L , so just needing some advice on what to do after a person dies ... tasks . what's first priority ? what needs to be done ?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Is there any other family members hun that can help you arrange the funeral I think the first thing to do hun is to get support for you to help you through this time hugs
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Hi hun,

    I am sure things are slightly different here in the UK but things should be along the same lines. Usually you need to pick up the death certificate first. Not sure how you go about this in America. Once you have the death certificate then you can begin arranging the funeral. The funeral directors will give you advice on what needs to be done. I hope this helps a little.

    So sorry to hear about your loss, if you need any support, my pms are open.
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Check the finances, bank statements, insurance policies etc Funerals are very expensive. You will need access to his account to pay for the funeral. I would suggest a simple a funeral as possible.
    You may need or wish check his contact list, address book etc to find who in addition to close friends needs to be told of his death and or informed of his funeral.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 28, 2013
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If your father had a will hun lawyers need to be notified as well
  6. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Definitely take a moment (actually take as much time as you need) to breathe and let some of the emotion out. Don't store it up, keep it in ~ that's what sent me into my deepest depression...

    Hopefully you have family/friends to help you. In the states (may differ from one to the other) funeral director usually gets you the death certificate and they suggest you get a few certified copies as you will probably need it for bank, utilities and others - I've forgotten who all needed them when my mum died a couple years ago.

    The main thing is to take it one step at a time. Don't let others rush you. I took ages to get to the attorney to finalize the "estate" and he said he would suggest clients wait 6 mos to even start all the legal "stuff".

    Be kind to yourself. This is a very stressful life event and, unless you're an estate attorney, there's no reason you should know everything that has to be done. The hospital ICU volunteers, chaplan, or funeral director should have materials about the logistics and may also have info for support getting through this.

    I am very sorry for your loss. It takes time to recover from this ~ please be patient and loving to you. ♥♥♥

    PS - if your dad received social security or retirement pension you'll need to contact. Social security will take back monies for the month he died. My mum died late August and they took back all funds for that month. Just don't want you to be surprised/frustrated if/when you deal with that. Take care... ♥ M.A.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 28, 2013
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I honestly do not know more than the people here. I do want to say I am very sorry. Do you have a trusted clergy person who you can turn to who might be able to add some support and local guidence through this process? I do hope that you have family members to help share the responsabilities. If it were I, and I needed to get tech assistance through the process, I would call united way and find out what agencies there are who have people who can assist with some of the logistics. Usually united way can be reached by dialing 211. Again, I am sorry your dad passed. :hug: :hug: :hug:
  8. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I, too, am very sorry for your loss. Things can be such a whirlwind in the next few days, just allow yourself to be carried through it being busy and otherwise occupied as this actually helps.

    Depending on where he passed, that location may be able to help you firstly. Next, a funeral director. If you don't know of one, see if there is one anyone you know would recommend. The directors can be so very helpful with what things to do at this time. They organized a death cert for me for someone this past year, the services etc. as it was all very difficult to think about.

    If you know what your dad's wishes were with regards to type of funeral/burial/location etc. thats good, but if you don't, do you have any family that would? Or family that would know of where his legal documents would have been lodged at? (presuming he had a will and other documents indicating preferences etc.)

    This is tough, one thing at a time... Please PM me if you need anything further. Sending you peaceful thoughts, you will get through this.
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