Dad left my mum...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by notwanting2live, Aug 26, 2008.

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  1. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    I no that alot of people here may have lost their parents through death or through divorsion. I didnt expect this frmo my family though, as my mum and dad loves each other, my dad is just being a basterd and left her just b/c she didnt phone him. he is so possessive of her, ive never realy noticed until now. he packed his bag and staying in a hotel at the moment. i found out whislt i was at work so i was at work and i started crying. my collegues seem to think that it is just a lovers tiff, but i no my dad, he hits my munm on occasion, and i want herto get rid of him, but at the same time i dont, as they are ment to be, and i love my mum and dad, well more my mum then ma dad but ya no. i dont no what to think, im having a really depressive mood at the moment. yes i have been drinking but only to block the pain b ut its only making it worser. i dont feel safe at all 2night. i want my patrents to get abck to gether. even if it ends me in hospital, where both parents are called over here, as both are my next of kin. i wil end up doing that if my dad dont talk to me. anyways, im having a depressive mood anyways, and i really feel like cutting, and ive been planning for a little while to die, and i think i have the perfect soloutrion.

    Xx Sky xX
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: I am sorry you are feeling like this. My mom also just left my Dad, and a big part of me was very happy for her. I am glad that she finally got rid of his negativity.
    But it makes sense that you'd also want them to stay together. I hope you don't plan on ending your life on a feeling that will surely pass. This is so recent. Allow yourself some time to heal, some time to just cry about it. It is understandable that you would be hurt by this. It might just take some time.
  3. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    i dont need time to heal, dont have enough time, i need to get them back together, and if it results in me being dead and they are togwether i will be happy in the after li9fe. hopefuklly,. mind you i will probably end up in a bad place and be resurrected as a beetle that leads sort life as i have been trying to kill myself, and end up killling myself. i have a pan, and hopefully it better work, as i dont wantna hurt people even more byt attempted suicide, id rather die and only hurt them once then hurting them man y times by attmepted sucice.
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hiya Hun :hug:

    I'm sorry to hear about your Mum & Dad. Right now you're upset & you're hurting, you need time to get over the shock of what has happened. I hope you can find a way to keep yourself safe whilst you get through these bad times. I know you think that harming yourself will be ideal, but hun, it would be bringing them together for the wrong reasons :hug: Maybe what they need is a few days apart so they can both have a time to think.

    I was in a similar situation at Christmas with my Dad & Stepmum so I kinda understand what you are going through. It was a really hard time for me to get through but I realised they had to sort things out themselves & I couldn't get involved (even though I wanted to).

    I'm here if you want to talk.

    Take care & keep safe :hug:
  5. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Ending your life in order to bring your parents back together won't result in that happening. Also throwing your life away like that wouldn't do any one a world of good. Also they might start blaming eachother if you did go through with it.

    They need some time and you need to do the same. See what happens in a couple of days or a week's time.
  6. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    Just an update. me and my mum has stayed in a hotel tuesday night, as my dad kicked my mum out and i went with her, as i cant let her go on her own. she hasnt stopped crying, and i dont no what to do. i want to tell her just to leave him but i cant as he is my dad. im feeling so "depressed" at the moment. my mum made me go to hospital last night though, as i had cut really bad. also i did aerosols, and was having major freak out, my mum didnt no what was wrong with me. i took a pill last night, i think thats ehy i freaked out. they aint that special, they just fuck you up, but it stops you thinking. i no i am selfish onto my mum, but i cant deal with this shit. i am to blame, as my dad started saying that it was my mums fault for having a fucked up suicidal daughter so they started argueing about me. i am so pissed off. im not feeling so bad no, bit fucked from last night still. they have let me go out for a little while. got to go back to hospital though at 1030, as i told them that i just need to check on my mum. they said as long as i come back, it will be fine. dont no if i should go back. i dont wanna fuck my mum around more by obscoundering. that would screw her over. i deserve to die right now.
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You don't deserve to die. Your just going through a difficult time as are your parents. It may be hard but you gotta let the dust settle and then take it from there.
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Please don't harm yourself, I use to cut to let the anger out and a few other reasons. You know what I found out? Cutting your self does absolutley nothing but leave scars!! I started cutting again a couple of months ago and had to wake up and ask myself what the hell are you doing? I think you should try and get your parents together and sit them down and talk to them and tell them what all this is doing to you. If you can't get them talking then you will have to face facts that they won't get back together! I wish you luck and hope your talk will work out things. Take Care!!!:chopper:!!!
  9. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    [this is from yesterday - wouldnt let me get onto the forum]
    [Took laptop in2 hospital! - they said I could as I’m in side room!]

    I’ve got to stay in here for at least a week, as they believe I need to get away from my problems and from my family. Both my mum and my dad are now talking, so its working I guess. Maybe if i die, they won’t shout at each other after all. It still seems like a really good plan. The hospital wants to arrange a meeting with my counsellor, me and my parents, so my parents can see how much more damage it is causing me. They don’t no that my dad hits my mum and controls all of us, but they don’t need to now that do they? :| at the hospital, even though i am in the general, they still have to search all my stuff, after coming back from home, as they found a screw driver on me last night. I always have something sharp on me, not just so i can cut, but in case i get in trouble. They don’t know that either. how am i suppose to tell them, its in case i need to stab someone, i would get done for carrying something sharp wouldn’t i. my parents are still stressing though, they started arguing in the hospital, i had to call a nurse in to get them out. How bad is that? They are at least talking, well arguing through their probs. it’s driving me insane. i told the nurse in charge that i really want to get out of everything, and she asked what i mean, but then i realised if i say anything else, that i would be sectioned [happened to many times for me not to no what to say and what i cant]. My counsellor is coming at 430 to have a chat as she isn’t been able to come in yet. the on duty counsellor came in last night [well 7 this morning] and she’s the one I’ve seen quite a few times, and she never understands and never listens - she always says its the alcohol, and when i try and debate her, saying that I’ve overdosed mostly when i isn’t drank, and the fact that last night i didn’t drink - well not so much - only had a couple, and she always argues with me, and she never remembers anything, she wants to no how i got a job in a care home to begin with, and also she says she’s going to speak to my manager to reconsider. That’s fantastic to hear when I’m in hospital, for trying to die and she tell me when i come out i may be redundant - the fucking bithc and apparently she is one of the best doctors on the island [mental doctor]. I just want my counsellor to come, as she knows me, and she knows what I’m like. The hospital is already driving me insane, as i am on hourly supervision, in case i get something sharp. but the idea to die is still on, as its working so far, so all i need to do is get some more pills, and then happy days are here for good, for when I’m DEAD.
    Sorry for the long post, can’t help it, i love writing, and this is de - stressing me slightly.

    My counsellor came in again today, and she told me that no one has been completely honest with me, and that people have been waiting me to be calm enough to tell me, as they know i do some pretty ecentric stuff at bad news. she wasnt sure how i would take it. I have Borderline Personality Disorder - what exaclty is that, she tried explaining about personality traits inside us and stuff, but i still dont understand?
  10. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    im out of hospital. have been for about 3 days. they let me go as they feel i need to be with my family. does any one no the survival rates of throat cancer, when its in 3 different places in the throat?. just wandering.

    also i still dont understand what BPD is, and i couldnt find it on the forum list thing.

    im not in the mood to talk at the moment in detail, so thats why im being blunt.
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