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Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by PK71, Oct 16, 2010.

  1. PK71

    PK71 Active Member

    My Dad... committed suicide in 1999 aged 35. I was 15 at the time.
    I had not seen him for 4 years. It happened after another failed relationship at the time apparently. I suppose losing your kids and then that on top of a lot of other problems just pushed him towards that choice.
    He was a man with a lot of problems who did a lot of bad things to a lot of people and at one point I hated him and felt relief when I learned he'd died. I never went to his funeral and his ashes were scattered by his sister.
    Despite that there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him and regret I couldn't be there for him. I wish so much that he was here now and I could ask him what to do. If he thought one day that I'd want him back in my life I know he'd still be here now, that's what breaks me.
    RIP Dad xx
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you lost your Dad Ariston....
    suicide leaves behind all those feelings you spoke of..
    Try not to beat yourself up over it...you did the best you could at the time ..
    that's all you could do...*hug*
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So sorry about your dad...my mother died three weeks ago and she and I had a horrible relationship...she was the one who sent me to my father to be beatened and raped...and still, I wish I had her here...like you, we all want our mommys and daddys...no matter who they were...hope you remember you were so young and could do nothing about the situation...please be kind to yourself...big hugs, J
  4. PK71

    PK71 Active Member

    Thank you both, thanks for the hugs xx