It's been 8 years since my dad passed away. I was 8 years old, but I still remember everything about that night. This is the first time I speak about it in detail. My dad was a dentist and he was working that day, but when all of us (1 brother n 2 sisters) got home from school my dad's car wasn't there yet. We noticed our mom get kind of stressed out and then there was that phonecall. Mom was in the kitchen and she wouldn't let us come in. I heard in her voice that something was wrong. She hung up the phone and tears were in her eyes. A friend of my mom came to our house and my mom got into his car. We were left with a few friends of my moms and we were told that my dad has been in a car accident and that my mom was in too big of a shock to drive to the hospital herself. I didn't know what to think when my mom came through the door crying and everyone went up to her for hugs etc. I heard my sister say 'is he dead?' and with a quick nodd as a reply my family broke into tears. I don't remember anything from the following days, but I know it's been hell for my mom. Up until today she has never had any interest in other men at all and she's still devestated about the loss of her true love. I think about it everyday what ******* bullshit it is that he died. He was known as the funniest and most amazing man people knew, and my friends don't know who he was, my children won't know, it kills me. I don't even want to think about graduating without him or marrying without him there. I find it hard to show my pain though, and I feel so guilty sometimes that I never cry and force myself to. I miss him every single day of my life, even when people think otherwise because I never speak about it or never show any emotion.