I am so angry with myself. I am usually pretty good at keeping my big stupid mouth shut, but I blew it last night. I was having another one of my zillion fights with hubby, and I lost it and said I wish that I was already dead, that I'd be better off. My son overheard me, and got really upset. Dammit! At least I'd been able to shield him from how bad I felt. I feel like somebody stuck a whisk up my nose and scrambled up my brains. I can't think anymore. I know that right now I've got all the appropriate things to do something (good ol' pill pushing doctors), and usually I can keep it together. But I'm so damn tired. I don't want to hurt anybody. I just can't do this. He won't let me go, I can't bear staying, I'm screwed no matter what and I don't know what to do. I'm sorry, I know so many others are in a bad place. I'd rather just be able to help someone else than whine about myself. I'm Sorry.