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Damn... Im in troubles... :(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Jun 4, 2008.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    3 or 4 weeks ago i was bit by a dog, the first thing came up to my mind
    was that i was infected with rabies, so i went to see the local doctor
    and he treated me and told me to come back in a week or so, he gave
    me a little pease of paper with dates so that i will know when to come
    back to him. After about a week i checked the next date i should visit
    him and somehow i though it was 6.4.2008, so i waited.
    While i waited i though about maybe to commit a suicide by just
    not treating myself. Rabies is deadly desies.
    Anyways after a while my depression got better and by the time i had
    to meet the doctor again, i didnt wanted to kill myself, so i went
    to see him. When i came to him he asked me why i didnt showd up,
    I was confused and told him that i though that i had to come on 4 June.
    He asked about the pease of paper he gave me, and i told him that on it
    the date was 4 June. He asked me to bring him the pease of paper.
    After i came home i checked again and was shocked to see that i had
    to meet him twise BEFORE 4 June. :(

    I dont know how it happend, maybe i got too confused becouse of
    my depression or something, it happance to me sometimes.
    Now i will have to give him explanation and i dont know what to say.
    I cant tell him about my depression becouse im too scared so that
    he will throw me in to the local mental health hospital.
    My parents dont know about my suicideal thoughts i dont
    want it to happen, becouse then my parents will find out about me,
    and im too scared!!!

    I cant tell my parents about my suicidial thoughts, it is too dificult for me
    and thay got so many probles even without me...
    Anyway i dont think something will change, my parents never done
    something helpful for me, my whole life the only person who really cared
    about me was my older sister, but she is going threw a divorse now
    with 2 kids to take care of, i cant ask her to help me.

    What should i do? :(
    Im so scared and confused... i dont know what to do :(
  2. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    Hey there, Im sorry youre feelin so low about this and I really hope this isnt gonna sound disrespectful, but I dont really see the problem. Not when it comes to givin your doc an explanation anyway. It was a simple misunderstanding, you read it wrong, it happens to people all the time, depressed or not. Just relax a bit I really dont think theres a reason to worry :hug:
  3. Christianv2

    Christianv2 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, Im sorry your feeling low as well, but as far as telling your doctor, Honestly you dont have to explain anything, just say it was a misunderstanding or you just got caught up with things. You dont owe anyone an explanation for something as miniscule as missing an appointment. Dont worry about it and just relax a bit.
  4. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for the support
    Looks like my anxietys took over me :p
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sounds like you may be feeling a little better at least. I can see where you thought your appointment was for June 4. Most of the time when they give you a sheet with appointments on them, it tells the date of the appointment, not telling you to make them before that time. It was a miscommunication and an understandable one at that. I guess a good saying here might be "Don't sweat the small stuff". I know it made you feel terrible, but they should understand. :hug:
  6. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Do you know what makes you want to die? Most people who are suicidal are also depressed. If you can recognize your triggers, it should help you handle the suicidal thoughts. Self-talk is helping me by talking myself away from the bad thoughts toward something good. You might find writing down your feelings would help. Lots of people can write down their feelings better than can talk about them. Whatever, find something that helps.

    I just had the thought that your older sister might not mind listening to your problems. It might take her mind off her own, and could make her feel better by helping you. Just a thought.

    I hope your rabies checks came out negative.
  7. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    I dont know why but by saing "I hope your rabies checks came out negative"
    after all you said got me laughing :D

    I think that the "thing" that makes me think about death
    is usally appear after i argue with my parents.
    my parents never help me and want me to help them
    this situations creates many issues in our relations.
    the "thay dont care about me why should i care about them" thing...
    I am very depandant on my parents so it is like... im a slave or something
    i have to do what thay say and if i dont, thay say i am bad and worthless
    and dont respact them... if there is one word that can describe my father
    its must be "Dectator".. alway right, never do any mistakes, i have to
    respect him, alway do what he asks me to.

    When i dont have depression i usally thinking about getting education
    it will take me many years becouse i will have to start all over again
    like a 10 year old, but i alway have this image in my mind about a chinees
    guy i read about few years ago, he was like 90 years old by the
    time he finished school... anways it makes me stronger by knowing
    that there is no such thing as too late for aducation :)

    Unfortuntly i have my issues, it is hard for me to walk outside
    with peoples around me, i jump from every noice, it is very emberresing
    I am very nervos when i leve the house, and it is really hard for me
    to talk to people, espacialy when thay are angry or something
    in such situations i jsut want to dissapier.
    I smoke alot, and i hate it, but it helps me to relax :\
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