ahhhh.... i'm so sad.. yesterday was the best day of my life, really.. i thought everything had finally turned around.. since i left last time every day had been better than the one before it.. and then.. yesterday evening it turned into the worst day of my life.. strange how the same day can be the best and worst day of your life.. really, by contrast it makes it seem all the worse.. higher you climb, further you fall i guess. but, i've decided.. i failed because i am shy, this is a quality that can be fixed.. every day i'm going to try to make myself a better person, maybe some day i will be good enough. just.. because.. that one day was worth all of the misery before it, so if i can reach it again, it will be worth any amount of work, i won't make the same mistake twice, i'll always make an effort to be at my best, if i fail, who cares, if i succeed i will finally be happy.