Damn it

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by MoAnamCara, Oct 26, 2011.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Its been about three weeks. Fab. But I feel I'm right back at square one. Its so frustrating. Have been trying to manage anxiety all day, sometimes I was able to lessen the feelings. But now my body is just overwhelmed. I wish I knew what the trigger was or what's going on. Maybe then I could avoid all of this. It feels as though its an allergic reaction, my throat is closing, it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest, my body aches and is shaking. I don't know what to do, other than si to relieve some of this. There is no one to contact , its up to me to get a grip on myself. I hate this, hate it.
     
  2. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    herrow :D just wanted to leave u a giant squishy hug !!! (((squish)))
     
  3. therapy_fan

    therapy_fan Well-Known Member

    Hope u have started feeling better! :/ *hug i too have alot of anxiety :( the only thing that works for me is drinking a beer or a wine glass or something! not like get drunk or anything. :) now i say goodbye and goodnight have to get up erly tomorrow!!
     
  4. collegedude250

    collegedude250 Active Member

    I don't know how much it helps, but I've been there before. I was clean for well over 115 days when I fell back into cutting. I felt like I would never be able to get back up again after such a devistating fall. But, here I am taking life one day at a time. 115 days came once and now I know it can come again. And if I can find it with how addicted I was, anyone can. You can do it!!!
     
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks college dude, am still off that train which is good.... Is hard some days and I'll never say never, but I'll say for as long as I can for right now.

    Take care.
     
  6. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Wishing you comfort, continued strength, and kindness to yourself (wonder where I picked up that concept?)
     
  7. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks Lefty1

    I think its now over a month but I fear tonight will be the night, just struggling.

    But, thank you.
     
  8. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I was SH free for about 3-4 years and relapsed earlier this year and have regular relapses when mood cycles. There's no shame in admitting you are struggling and a relapse doesn't mean you are weak or a failure. I hope you can manage for another day and tomorrow tomorrow a fresh. Try and distract as much as possible, if needs be flick and elastic band on your wrist or hold ice cubes in your hand till you cannot take the coldness anymore. Keep posting hun, you are truly cared about :hug:
     
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks - I made it through which is good. I had some alcohol to help with meds and sleeping so thats what I did. Not the best solution, but could have been worse.
     
  10. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    So glad you made it through :hug:
     
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