I had everything ready. I had certain aforementioned pills out and ready to go. My wife came home early... This is always the case, I finally get up the nerve to do what I need to do and something screws it up. I'm so tired. Tired of feeling useless, tired of failing at everything I try. I'm a horrible father, a miserable husband, a bad son, a pathetic brother, a useless uncle, and a sorry excuse for a soldier. Funny things... all I wanted to do was fly helicopters.