Damn wish I was so dead now.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, Sep 6, 2009.

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  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    No hope,no want so sick of fighting why can't I be dead why?.Damn being dead and even not feeling must be better than being like this.Why can't I just have the ball's and do the deed?Well it's time I will enough of this crap,I look at everything I have to do it's simply a joke I think anyone who would be in my shoe's would think how screwed up am I?.So really it's time to pack it in,no point in hanging on:sad:.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Ace sorry you are feeling so down. Was there something that caused you to feel this way. I know life sucks and can be difficult but try to ride these feeling out okay. Dam depression always seem get the best of me too but you know it is treatable it just takes time to get right medication that works. I hope you can call your therapist to see if you can fit in an earlier appointment to talk abt how your feeling. Were here Ace we know i hope you can stay safe tonight crawl under your blankets and just go to sleep. Tommorrow another day If you can't stay safe please call crisis team and get help okay everyone needs you here You are cared for by many please stay safe okay.
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You are in my thoughts ace. Please stay safe. :hug:
  4. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thankyou Violet and GL again so much,nothing in particular I think it's a range of thing's just feeling low and hopeless really.Feeling good for nothing you know,so many thing's on my mind and to do,struggling to change everything is so overwhelming can't help but think of escaping:sad:.Just feel's nothing is worth it and is promising,I've alway's struggled to change.If I listed everything,everyone will see what a total screw up I am really.I feel so low badly,I'm just hanging on constantly with the urge to end it feel like doing it really maybe I just should get it over and done with..
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If your saddness depression doesn't go away can you not talk to your therapist and get your meds changed a bit. Try something new we care Ace please know that.
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thank's very much Violet I got my Dr to start me on Lamictal to see if it can curb my mood swing's.For a while thing's seemed a little positive,with the combination of zoloft and edronax and 300mg of Seroquel at night but the affect wore off.My Dr was never really keen for me to try Lamictal,as I know in Australia many Dr's don't use it for depression.But I've used Valpro(epilum),Lithium,Quilonum like crazy on all kind's of doses down the years with no success.

    I do tend to blame myself alot,I'm really worried because I can't stay like this I don't know what to do I'm really scared.My head is so confused,I wish I could decide thing's easy but my Ocd make's it so hard being really indecisive and struggling to make decision's.I'm doing my best to stay calm i really am,but I'm struggling also with Caffeine and lately alcohol:sad:.See it's all my fault why thing's don't work out,sorry my head is going around like crazy I don't know what to do about thing's I'm so confused.So often I think just pack it in so you don't have to deal with this nightmare anymore:sad:.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: Acy! Always here for you , anytime!
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Ace, The lamitcal works pretty good for mood swings.. I have been on it for years.. Why don't you ask your doctor about geodon or abilify, they are for irrational thinking.. I have been on geodon for years also..Sometimes like in my case it takes a regiment of meds to fight off the different symptoms.. I still think about SI everyday but thru meds and therapy I am holding my own..I wish you luck and hope you feel better soon..
  9. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    hi ace

    just to say im thinking of you and hope that you are ok. sorry you're feeling so bad :hug:
  10. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thankyou everyone as usual,my Dr tried Abilify with me once only 10mg's I asked if higher would be better.He said it would've worked at that doseage,but to me it seemed very low.I've just started Lamictal am on 25mg,never tried geodon I'm feeling really empty and suicidal right now.I see my Dr tomorrow,but the thought's are so strong I'm so sorry everyone just thinking to end it now better off for everyone.
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