Damn you bipolar disorder!

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Kelsi, Feb 19, 2010.

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  1. Kelsi

    Kelsi Account Closed

    Ive come to the conclusion that I am sick of having bipolar disorder. I am so goddamn dysfunctional all of the time. I cant keep a girlfriend. After a few months they all go running. Im told Im too damn intense and angry. Of course it never starts that way. I try to tell them Im a real bitch. They never listen to me! I cant keep a job. I have no patience for them criticizing me. Though I know I shouldnt take it personal. Im usually much smarter and intuitive then they will ever be. Im sure they all thought I was an arrogant bitch! My family thinks Im beyond help. I fucking hate bipolar disorder.........
     
  2. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    Bipolar sucks big. No matter how stable you are on medication, its ugly traits still surface and people think you are a complete loon. So many people I have idea what its like under the surface, it ain't black and white, it oozes greyness. For some insane reason lots of young(ish) people post stupid questions on yahoo answers like 'help i think i am bipolar' or they man copy and paste some symptoms off wikipedia and they say they can instantly identify with them, what a load of bollocks. Bipolar isn't cool and trendy, they don't have a clue, it ruins your life and just when things seem to be getting somewhere near normal, you fuck things up again. I suppose it could be worse! I could be 'normal', a capitalist's wet dream with an addiction to consumerism and keeping up with the Jones's.
     
  3. Kelsi

    Kelsi Account Closed

    Yeah Ill be honest about it. Ive used it to get a girl or two naked. But its never been worth it. Its hard enough being a lesbian and dating. Adding bipolar in the mix just makes it all way too damn messy. I agree with you on the last part. It could be worse....
     
  4. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Are you on antidepressants? If so, how are they helping?
     
  5. Kelsi

    Kelsi Account Closed

    Im not taking anything right now. I decided a few years ago I didnt need the meds. Im a stupid bitch.
     
  6. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I wish I didn't need meds, I always relapse within 2 weeks and end up hospitalised.
     
  7. Kelsi

    Kelsi Account Closed

    Yea I got smart about fucking up. I would just pack up my things and leave the state. It was much easier. But trust me, stay on them. My life has been a pile of shit since.
     
  8. tiggersafire

    tiggersafire Well-Known Member

    I don't have Bipolar. I was tested for it twice and I don't have it. But my mother does. She had me at 17 with a guy she met in a psychiatric ward. She's an alcoholic. She used to take Prozac and then later Paxil. She stopped taking her medicine because it had bad side effects. She said she didn't want to be controlled by pills even though they really helped her. Since she stopped taking medicine she has been able to obtain and keep a job, stop drinking, stop acting so manic, she isn't so up and down with her moods (although that sometimes still happens) and she just feels better over all. There is some hope. She'll never completely change but I think she's doing a lot better so that means there must be hope for other people with Bipolar too.
     
  9. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Knowing it never completely gets better is the worst part makes you feel like most days why even bother then? So sick of hearing people tell me I'm negative, I'm so dark, I never try hard enough and that usually all the shit in my life is my fault, I'm a bitch, I dont care enough blah blah blah!!!. Listen up folks I'm none of those things....... I'm BIPOLAR!!!!!!!
     
  10. Kelsi

    Kelsi Account Closed

    Well Idk about it getting better without meds. I just gout out of a rapeyoursoul depression about a week ago. Looking back over the past few months mI realize I need help. Because of this last episode I lost my girlfriend and a few friends I had. I hate when people talk about how great and cool biplor is. It sucks donkey dick!

    I have a few friends who think Im awesome because Im a crazy bitch. I want to smack them at times. It is really frickin annoying.
     
  11. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Who ever said that bipolar is "great" (I've never heard this) needs to be shot (but that'd still be a better experience than bipolar)
     
  12. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I have to agree. Being bipolar sucks, especially when you are on medication and there are days it doesn't seem to work right.
     
  13. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Aaaand! Bipolar sucks. Whoever said it was trendy to be emo needs to have their trap wired shut.
     
  14. tiggersafire

    tiggersafire Well-Known Member

    My mum really does do better off medication. She's more stable now than she has been my whole life. Sometimes I question whether she has true Bipolar or if she has BPD instead like I do though... But I'm not a doctor so I really don't know.
     
  15. Lauru

    Lauru Well-Known Member

    I have had bipolar for 21 years, I am on meds, go to therapy, and still I get sick, depressed every 6-18 months or so. It doesn't matter what I do, I will always get sick over and over again. I hate it and I hate life. I am in a deep depression right now. This shit never goes away, never.
     
  16. seldonbilly

    seldonbilly New Member

    My boyfriend was diagnosed w/ bipolar a few weeks ago and I'm just wondering if this is linked to the mean things he says sometimes..? I am in a serious relationship with a bipolar man, we have recently moved into together. The beginning of our relationship was different than it is now, the honeymoon period never lasts forever.
     
  17. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    i'm fucking sick of it too. finding a balance is hard but you have to try or else continue in the cycle of neverending shit. i've beem fighting/yelling with my bf for the past week. going into hiding is the best thing when the fits come on.
     
  18. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Anyone who thinks mania is cool, arty, boho, fun, lovely can come live my life. My whole last month was trying to manage mania and anxiety and it isn't funny, I've been pretty much housebound, my routine is bed at 10pm and sleep otherwise, lack of sleep=mania. Or I spend so much time in bed trying to recover from a manic week or days where, y'know there is no insight as I'm in so much pain. There is a difference between being happy, grounded, enjoying life, and manic-anxious, jittery, racing thoughts etc.

    I look back at my past and it was like I was on amphetamines so much of the time, it's the most painful, tiring BS to be out of control manic and you don't know it. I forget to eat, care for myself etc, if I don't control it.
    Flashbacks and trauma and trying to cope with the present is how I understand my mood changes, but, mania isn't something I enjoy anymore- I used to. It's something I've been trying to control, and I live the life of a very healthy, sleep/food/exercise conscious cripple much of the time because my standard of life is much better without long term medication.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2010
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