Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Nightfall, Aug 30, 2007.

  1. Nightfall

    Nightfall Member

    I feel so weak. I just started going
    to a therapist. But it´s so exhausting.
    I have PTSD. It´s hard for me to tell
    what happend and about my feelings.
    (sexual abusion in childhood)
    I am not used to talk about my feelings
    and I hate crying in front of others.
    I feel really sick. I was so sick, I couldn´t
    got to the therapist this week. I tried, but
    I had stocmachache, felt dizzy
    and was in no condition to go anywhere.
    How can anyone help me, if I am not able to
    go anywhere? Why I am so damn weak???
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Your not weak at all. How long have you been going to the therapist for? Is it helping you.
  3. Nightfall

    Nightfall Member

    I have been there only three times.
    At the moment I´d say it´s getting worse. But I think its normal,
    because its no coffee chat talk.
    On the other hand its good to talk. But then if I am at home
    I feel ashemd.
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Why do you feel ashamed when your at home. The main point is, that you feel that there is or will be improvement.
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey there, I can certainly relate to finding your abuse hard to talk about. Seeing as you've only been going to your therapist 3 times, maybe you need to let yourself settle in and once you become more comfortable with the atmosphere, you will feel more comfortable in talking. Remember - small steps. Give it time, and if in the future you still feel unable to talk to your therapist maybe you should consider trying another one. Some therapists are better than others. You may feel more comfortable letting your feelings out on a forum first or in letter form as it isn't face to face, then progress from there. I understand it's difficult for you, but you can do it. :hug:
  6. Nightfall

    Nightfall Member

    I feel ashamed because I think I feel guilty. Sometimes I think I was an evil child. Maybe I provoked it. I dunno.
    And then because of the things happend later, when I was older. (about 20)
    and I could have said NO, but I haven´t.
  7. faceshed

    faceshed Active Member

    I don't know much about what your talking about but provoking sexual abuse sounds mighty silly to me.
    People don't just go around doing that on a whim unless there something really wrong with them.