Damned Depression Claims Another Part Of My Life

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Godsdrummer, May 4, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    So when everything came crashing down on me, and I found my way here, the only thing I could focus on was either living or dying. I couldnt hold my head up, I couldnt smile, I could barely eat.

    And....one of the online places that I was a moderator at, a place where I had friends for years, a place where some of the nicest people in the world hang out, (except for you guys) was my online home.

    I tried going there, but they didnt get it. they didnt understand my sucidal thoughts, or my depression. They tried tough love on me, and that pushed me away.

    I decided today to post a hello, how's everyone been thing, in their Monday forum. I did this about a month ago, and got a friendly response.

    I didnt get a response today. I even went as far to say good morning to the Admin ( a person whom I thought was a good friend). he ignored me.

    And....some time during this past month, he deleted my signature pic.

    So...while not being banned, I no longer seem to be welcomed there.

    I couldnt concentrate on the stuff they were discussing. I mean, I was in a life and death struggle and those guys were talking about music.

    And now this.

    I am very sad about this.
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Maybe because they have not seen you in a while, they don't know what your like anymore? This sort of thing happens when two or more people are not in contact anymore and so the connection goes cold.

    Are you considering being a regular member at that place again?
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Not to the level I used to be, but just to pop in daily and say Hi. I really dont have the interest there that I used to. But then again, nothing really interests me these days. :mellow:
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Are there any members from when you used to be regular, that remember you?
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    lol. Everyone remembers me there.
  6. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    So what is it that you want, to be welcomed back? to go back to the way things were before?
  7. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I dont know. I guess I dont deal with rejection well.

    Anyway...maybe I just need to give it time.

    I'm off til tomorrow.
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Tough love can work with some things, but it's not usually the answer when it comes to depression or suicidal thoughts.

    I'm sorry they didn't respond to you. Maybe give it time, hang around there a little more?

    I hope they welcome you back!
  9. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Truth is, I dont miss the topic or purpose of that site anymore. I just miss the people there. And this is amazing, as that topic had been a part of my life from the time I was 10 until last year and I am now 42!
  10. DiscoverPeaceOfMind

    DiscoverPeaceOfMind Active Member

    If you dont miss the topic, it sounds like you have grown and evolved. The people there, although you miss them, are still in the topic you have no need for...There will be new people possessing your current interests....just gotta look for them...and something new is always exciting. Congratulations on moving on.
  11. anhedonia

    anhedonia Member

    Maybe it's just of the whole - not being interested in anything. Maybe it's something that will come back again. I guess in times like these, it's hard when people around don't understand. I totally get that - I couldn't say this on other forums I'm active on either.

    I think when you don't understand something, you react in fear, and for them - in trying to normalise things they're trying to fit you back into what you used to be (either by tough love, or even ignoring you). Like I don't think the admin guy whom you say is your friend doesn't care or anything like that. People just react like that when they're afraid...

    For now, just stay away and just go to "safer" places (like here). Maybe when you feel a little better again, you can head back.
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