Damned if I do and Damn anyway

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Husher, Apr 11, 2013.

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  1. Husher

    Husher Member

    I was ready to check out one night last month. I skipped my meds at the time because I was waiting till pay day. Bad move on my part. I was going to do it before the wife got home from her friends. She got home early. I told her what was going on and sought out help. Called the hotline and got some help. Since that time I lost my job and my wife tells me she resents me for even planning it. She was thinking of leaving me but she said she won't but she's has put some distance between us now emotionally and physically. I regret ever telling ANYONE. At the time I wasn't out to get back at anyone or anything else. I just want to die. I don't know what do now. I'm not a failed attempt and I really don't want to do it now. The fact my wife is trying to avoid me and trying to keep things "normal" between us is down right soul crushing. I feel cut off in every way shape and form.http://www.suicideforum.com/images/smilies/disturbed.png
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What happened when you sought help? Are you back on your meds?

    Here if you want to talk about why you attempted, what's making you want to die.
     
  3. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    whats making you feel like this, although really shes gonna make you feel worse by leaving. So I would get in touch with your gp/crisis team or mental health speak and speak to them about your risks etc.
     
  4. HelgasAngel

    HelgasAngel Well-Known Member

    your wife is terrible for distancing herself from you emotionally and physically. I can understand why she did it but when you marry somebody I would think you would be there for him through thick and thin, sickness (your mental illness is just that) and health. I cannot see myself married to the person I love and emotionally abandon them in their time of desperate need. If she really loved you, your predicament would cause her to become CLOSER to you, not push her away. You should sit her down and tell her what you're telling us. Tell her how "soul crushing" it is that she's avoiding you, emotionally detaching herself from you. If she doesn't listen, I'll say that you're better off without her. You could use professional help or the help of somebody who won't abandon you just because you're feeling suicidal. God bless
     
  5. Husher

    Husher Member

    Thanks for responding. I'm back on the meds and talking to a VA suicide prevention specialist. I not sure how it works but the meds don't seem to work as well even at double the dosage. I'm see an MD to see if theres a better alternative for this.
     
  6. Husher

    Husher Member

    Thank you for your advice. I am currently talking to a professional. I just fear I messed up by coming out about it.
     
  7. Husher

    Husher Member

    Thank you. I did talk to her about it. Nothing seemed to change. We have three kids between us and been together 11 years. She's my best friend and I'm truly broken about it. I didn't think I could feel any worse.
     
  8. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    its probably a big shock to her knowing how serious the situation was for you and she's probably thinking off a the possibilities and thoughts are properly running through her head. Give her time and she will come back to you.
     
  9. Husher

    Husher Member

    I hope you are right. Life is crappy enough with some one resenting you. Or worse. Thank you all.
     
  10. Husher

    Husher Member

    well... I have my suspicions but all signs point to her having an affair. :-( I don't know how much more I can stand. I don't want any more drama in my life. She holds on to her phone like its her best friend now. She used to just leave it laying around. Now she will snatch it away and she has lied to me saying she was just checking her email when I saw the text screen late at night. Even when we are intimate its off. I really don't want to know but Ive been thru this before and its killing me. I don't know where to turn or what to do. Right now Im just writing to keep from finishing what I should have finished in the first place.
     
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