Damnit! *May Trigger*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Ravenwing, Feb 22, 2011.

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  1. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    Had a really bad night. Despite taking sleeping tablets. Got about an hour's sleep and then spent the rest of the night having flash backs and panic attacks. I could smell the whiskey on my abuser's breath as he leaned over me, and I could feel everywhere his hands went. Then I could hear every word and feel every punch that my ex husband delivered.

    It got to around 2am in the morning and I was feeling like my head was going to explode. So I cut. I cut my arm several times. I still didn't feel better, so I started in on my thumb nail. I almost pulled the whole nail off. Then pulled out several handfulls of hair. My friend has been round and she has dressed my arm and put a plaster on my thumb.

    But despite this I still don't feel better. Normally after I cut, I get this sense of relief. But that just is not there this time. This is making me really scared about how much further I might go. I feel like sh**.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you are feeling better now hugs
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Do you know what set this off? Maybe if you could identify that, you would feel less likely to SH...J
  4. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    I have been having some really vivid flashbacks, and I've been feeling like this since then.
  5. Have you talked to your doctor about it..?:hugtackles:
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