I haaaate how guys are built to like girls. I constantly try to fight everthing about it, not like girls. I havn't had a girlfriend, i havn't even hugged one before, I havn't done anything. But the older I'm getting the harder it is to resist, I can't handle it much more. I try my hardest not to like them because I don't want to become a perv, and then lose a friend or something because of it. I try to avoid looking at anything like that by looking at like the ground or something as I walk down the halls, but it always looks like there showing it off. It hurt's to physically try not to like anything about them physically. It keeps me up awake grabbing my head in the fetile position trying not to. Everything about me is raging to it. This isn't the main reason I'm sad, the main reason is im shy. But that's a differnet topic. I had to create an alter ego to deal with the pain in my stomach, called Sybon, who when I try to get him in makes the pain numb out. And everything seems calm when hes in charge, but it just makes me seem more weird. I don't know what else to add to this right now, might edit it later.