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Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Denikin, Sep 12, 2008.

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  1. Denikin

    Denikin Well-Known Member

    I really think about it a lot these days... I already know how I would do it, for the most part. I have written a suicide note, just in case.

    But at the same time... I don't know if I would have the strength to do it... And I don't know when would be the "right" moment (I want to give everybody time to adapt their schedule to my suicide).

    I already attempted suicide once, this summer.

    I don't know if I am really in actual danger... I kind of need external advice for anything right now. And what should I do? Right now, I feel like all this is scary... probably in ten minutes I'll find it perfectly normal, or preferable...
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Denikin.

    If you feel you are in immediate danger, you should go to the hospital.
    Otherwise, you still sound like you are scared, not feeling safe. Have you ever tried seeing a therapist? They can be helpful so you can understand your feelings and while it make take some time for them to go away, they become less scary.

    Why do you want to kill yourself? What could bring you happiness right now?

    big :hug:s
  3. Denikin

    Denikin Well-Known Member

    I see a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I am under Prozac, too.

    Why? I'm just... tired of all this... And I don't see much hope in changing my situation. I feel I'm stuck in fatigue, anxiety, food problems, etc. The only two things that make me feel better are guitar (but most of the time, I'm too tired) and cutting myself (endorphine boost)... Also, if I miss, well, I'll probably get another solid chance to get a fresh start. So in either case (succeed or miss), well, I win somewhere...
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Tired of all what? :hug:
    Do the people you see know how bad you are feeling? Let them know how serious it is.
    I play guitar too. Very theraputic I think.
  5. Denikin

    Denikin Well-Known Member

    I have friend troubles. I only have one friend, and so far, it's given me more problems than anything else. But it should be alright, I had an explanation with her. She could not give me what I need in a relationship, because I need a lot, and because she can't give much. So that's a plus... but I've lot the center of my social life, and I really don't know how to find anybody to "replace" her.

    Also, I can't concentrate at school, I have no energy to do anything. I'm sure I'm going to fail majestuously in most classes, especially since I none of those I have this trimester really interest me. Other things too... I don't always remember everything, it's as if I don't really need reasons any more, as if it's nearly settled...

    I don't know what people around me know or not. My parents should not know much, but I don't want them to. My friend might know more, but talking with her is not an option. I really have nobody to talk to IRL right now.
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    awe I'm sorry :hug:
    I've felt often times I have no one to talk to either. Real life contact is important, but at least you're here, and with people that understand.

    Failing school is not the worst thing in the world. Don't get yourself down on that. If it happens it happens. Hopefully you'll get more classes you enjoy next year.

    If you ever want to talk more, feel free to PM me, even just to say hey what's up :)

  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Denikin,
    You are luckey to have friends. Alot of us don't have anyone but family. Sometimes that is not the case because there families just don't understand mental health problems. I have talked to my family and they are honest they say they just don't understand why a person could feel the way we do. They also said that even though they don't understand they will support me and be there for me if I ever decide to open up and talk.
    You really need a therapist not a couselor. Therapists are better at digging in and finding out the real reasons we are the way we are!! You will also learn coping skills and How not to discount the positives.. Good LuckTo You..:chopper:..
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