I won't be able to hold on much longer. Everything only get's worse and no one seems to understands. No one seems to realise that I just can't do it. Why am I alway's on the dark and painfull side of life. The nights are just endless and I keep crying, afraid to sleep. Wanting to die and to end it all. Everyone keeps saying that it will be alright but what if it won't? What if I lost that strenght to keep going? I guess when I'm gone things indead will be alright. I'm just the failure no one cares, who isn't good enough. So sick and tired of living for false hope, for dreams that will never happen. Sick of cutting and losing blood, sick of the pain and nightmares. Been suicidal for over 10 years, I don't want to face another 10 years. It's just me people say, I'm not immature enough or something. Well it's not my fault I never lived as a happy child, I grew up in fear and suicidal. I need to get out of here, somewhere far away. Where people don't hurt me Where my past doesn't exists. Where nothing matters. I thought I found that place but it won't let me back. It's just me and this dark world full of shades.