I don't know what's wrong with me tonight. I feel stranger than usual. I can feel the hate in me, its blade, slashing and cutting off pieces of me. I see my scars anew, freshly opened wounds in all their glory. All the things i used to love to hate. I'm dizzy in this state, high, almost. I can feel its cold bliss as it slides through my flesh, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to live this way anymore. I'm tired of waking up here. I need out. I can't cut deep enough to make my escape, stabbing myself to death isn't a thrill anymore. Somewhere in the midst of it all i stopped believing. I've been heartless for so long, and waking to find myself surrounded by all these emotions, all so foreign to me, is the cruelest thing i've had to endure. Can't be any crueler. Took my hand like a child she did, caressed my sorrows and eased the pain, loneliness seemed to slowly fade away, and she buried inside the monster that never let me sleep. Fooled me well she did. Now i am a godless mess longing to be the heartless freak i used to be. I think i preferred the darkness from before, in there i never knew what love was, now i understand why they say that ignorance is bliss. Now the monster is trying to get out, wielding a knife, spinning cobwebs, manipulating my head like a simple puppet. And i can feel the threads of my heart breaking slowly. Darkness is here again. Hello old friend.