darkness wins

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by swimmergirl, Nov 3, 2015.

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  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    i have so little will to live left inside of me, it's comforting and scary at the same time. Will tonight finally bring some peace to this madness? Will I be able to do what I have stopped myself half way through doing the past two weeks? will i chicken out again and hate myself more for it in the morning? will i try to convince myself of some bullshit story about hope? Or, will I commit to my longing for death and finally give myself the gift of the end of this suffering? These questions, these questions make me angry, angry enough to finally just do it, without care and and without guilt but not without some remorse for those who will be sad and hurt that I couldn't tell them. Telling people doesn't change things though, Ive been telling people for months now. It's over for me. Thank you dr. <mod edit - potentially identifying>, i am sorry for hurting you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 4, 2015
  2. Deety

    Deety SF Supporter

    Hi Swimmergirl,
    What stopped you the last time? Is there anything or anyone you can focus on and hold on for?
    Please get some help if you are unsafe at the moment, take care, I hope you are ok.
  3. Aeneas

    Aeneas Well-Known Member

    Totally understand your feelings, even if I can't completely relate to your particular situation.
    But if you need someone to talk to, or just a friend who can listen, I'm game.
  4. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    Hope you are still hanging in there. There should be a rule here, after all I've been through if I don't give up you can't give up either, lol
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