Darkness

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by TBear, Aug 31, 2009.

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  1. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    I'm spiralling downward in a seemingly endless pain filled descent

    Where will this end? If I were to kill myself - that would be so unfair to my children...the rapists and abusers would win....

    I haven't the strength to hang on much longer..although I try

    Another trial date is coming up - my ex wants custody of the younger girls...this has been going on for three long years - he abused and used me - abused the children...It will be so hard to face him in court. He has sent no help financially or otherwise in more than 3 years....

    Everything seems to be falling apart - my car died, my clothes dryer and refrigerator have quit working, my children need clothes, I have no place to put my youngest so she goes to work with me, My utilities will be cut off soon if I can't get them paid...and I am dealing with flashbacks...

    Just functioning through another day seems an immense task...I try to think of my blesings - there are many, yet the shame and hurt of the past overwhelm...

    Just want to give up
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    God i am so sorry you are having to deal with all this. The judge hopefully will see what a dead beat dad he is and make him pay onthe spot all the back payments he owes you. Try to hang on is there anyway you can talk with your doc early appt. If it gets bad please call for help don't harm yourself okay. Can you call for emergency assistance in Canada if you need extra money out of work etc you can call and get some assistance ontario anyway. Any community help you can get. Please i hope tommorrow people see you need helpand reach out I hope Judge makes ex pay and big time. take care will pray your darkness goes and only light shines in now.
     
  3. Littlewiji

    Littlewiji Well-Known Member

    Damn, I must say I'm amazed at how strong you are. I know for damn sure I wouldn't be able to find many blessings if I was in your situation.

    Someone with that strength doesn't deserve to die. Just keep going. Take it a day at a time, a hour at a time. You'll get through this, I know
     
  4. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Thanks for your kind responses - don't know why everything has to always be such a struggle - just sick of trying... something inside won't let me stop, although at this moment I couldn't even say why....
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Because you are a fighter like me you won't let them win. You have your children who gives you so much love no matter what. I pray you will get support you need glad you can come here at least to talk.
     
  6. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    tbear

    I'm so sorry you are going through so much.Things will get better in time..don't ever give up.I hope you can get some assistance though..you really need some I can see.I wish I knew of any resources but I am quite lacking in that knowledge...maybe some more people here can help you find some resources you can look into.

    :hug:
     
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