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date #:^o

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by arthur1965, Sep 2, 2006.

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  1. arthur1965

    arthur1965 Guest

    thanx for the feedback on my plea for positivity. i appreciate the open honesty on this site.

    i have been trying to form a pair bond with a woman for 20 years; it seems to be one of the few social formations in our society for forming a community. my psychiatrist wrote a book about how forming a close relationship helps the limbic system of the brain to help us maintain a tolerable emotional state, and i think he is right.

    anyway, after a loooong time without that mutual fire that tells one they might fall in love. i have a third date tonight; and last night we made out for multiple hours. it felt great, but i am fixated on my bodily imperfections and my high maintainence teeth, and being around someone a lot after a long stretch of managing my mood by sitting around be myself smoking pot (it is medically approve, in addition to my bipolar meds.

    So I am uncomofrtable in this new situation; my ocd finds the flaws in the situation (she, unlike me, is not in to bdsm; we seem very different in many ways). i should be happy to be making out with a tall gorgeous red-headed earth goddess type, but i am just anxious!! help!!!
  2. KMS

    KMS Well-Known Member

    be happy your dating. i cant even do that. i cant even talk to girls. im shy and afraid. i dont want to get hurt so i dont do it. its crappy irony that the one thing ive ever wanted in life is a wife and kids, a happy family. but we dont always get hwat we want. your light years ahead of me :sad:
  3. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser ever to live.

    Hey, don't feel too bad, I feel the EXACT way and am in the EXACT position as you are. :sad:
    I've dreamed of having a wife and kids and all that but I'm 19, too scared to even talk to girls, never had a girlfriend, probably never will have a significant other. I know they'll reject a boring, plain loser like me anyways, at least your not alone eh? :unsure:
  4. The Loner

    The Loner Active Member

    And i'm in the exact same position as you, same age to :tongue: . Only difference is i'm not afraid to talk to them i just don't have the looks. :eek:hwell:
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 3, 2006
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Arthur: I think a good thing to do is to try to stay in the moment...think and feel about what is going on when you are with her, and some of the 'insecure monsters' will not have a voice...try to take in what is there for you...the smells, the touch, the feelings, and you will be too busy for the other stuff...good luck, and we are all here to be your cheerleaders, should you want them...big hugs, Jackie
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