Dated co-workers

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lanasummer, Feb 16, 2015.

  1. lanasummer

    lanasummer Active Member

    Hi all

    so I wanted to know has anybody ever dated a co-worker?
    did it work out? if it didn't what happened?

    the reason I ask this question is because lately I have developed feelings for a guy who I work with. His really nice, we share similar hobbies, likes/dislikes etc. we sometimes have these cute moments. but I want to take it further. I want make the first move if he doesn't.
    I work at a retail store and one of the policies is "no dating". I really like my job and don't want to lose it but at the same time I don't want to feel like I missed out on anything.
    I have never been in a relationship before and never been emotionally and psychically involved with someone before, so this means a lot to me.

    anybody have any advice
    thanks :flowers:
    Lana
     
  2. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    Work is the best place to meet someone because you get to know the person well before dating.

    Don't worry too much about the policy, just avoid making out at the workplace. If you stay professional no one can complain.

    good luck!
     
  3. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    I dated a couple of coworkers and for me it never works out. The reason it didn't work out for me is because I saw them all the time.and i'm the type of person that like my space. But whatever you do I wish you luck :)
     
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Eh. Is it worth losing your job over if someone finds out? Some workplaces have that policy for good reasons. How long will you guys last dating? A one night fling? A week? A month?

    Some relationships can turn ugly and be brought into the workplace causing dramas no one wants to be around in. I have witnessed the most professional coworkers of mine be so unprofessional in my job because of the drama. Did I get entertained by it. No. It was so uncomfortable trying to make peace with both coworkers at war with each other.

    But to be the devils advocate..... ive seen three lasting relationships in the small company I worked for and theyre still married. 3 of those 6 are no longer working with us but theyre all happy!

    You never know til you roll that dice. Really if hes the one. That risk is worth it. If the company finds out they can go shove it because they did not have rule about friends going out and socializing. Another loophole is if you guys become exclusive. .. they did not have "no friends with benefits" rule didnt they?
     
  5. sick2deth

    sick2deth Well-Known Member

    I've dated co workers and it's not a great idea. Only because when it goes tits up you have to face them everyday and you're stuck with them all day. It's not for me but some people can make it work...I'm not one of them. Work is a place to gain space from someone and it should be used for that so you're not living in each others pockets all the time. It's a gamble and for me the consequences are just not worth it.
     
  6. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I know several very happily married people who met at work. I have dated a co-worker and it ended messily, but because we were both mature and adult about it, it was fine and we are now very good friends (still - a decade later and long since we both moved to different fields and companies)

    As for being with a person too much - I guess if you are sitting next to them every day then maybe that would be a bit much. I worked in the same retail store as the guy I dated (for three years, not a quick fling) and we maybe had a tea break together or hung out for five minutes in the office or in the kitchen or whatever, but you are at work so you are - presumably - working. If your job involves working very closely with the person then it is going to be difficult. Fortunately you work in a retail store so I assume you are mostly helping customers and/or working with stock etc, not collaborating on big projects etc.

    Personally I think that it is hard enough to meet people in this life without ruling out work as a possible venue. If you are the kind of person who goes to pieces over a breakup and can't hold it together - then no. If you think that you would be able to manage if the (potential) relationship ended, then I see no reason not to go for it. As I say, I know at least four very happily married couples that met at work. It can and does work.
     
  7. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    I wouldnt suggest it. Work is work and focus, not romancing. Id keep them separate.