Dating confusion

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Afraid, May 22, 2007.

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  1. Afraid

    Afraid Guest

    So, I'm posting this "anonymously" in fear that my ex will find it and trip out that I am confused on this matter. I think you can figure it out if you really want to though :) and that's fine.

    Let's set up the scene here:
    Boyfriend of many years breaks up with me out of the blue. Lots happen and I am very heart-broken and lost. I had already belonged here so I posted and whatnot. One night I decide to enter chat to check out who is on. I notice another person who I had read threads about--he has also been going through a break-up.
    I thought I would talk with this person because they'd know exactly how I felt.

    This was a bit ago. Things have grown and I am very, very confused. My ex has told me he no longer wants to communicate with me.
    Now, the guy I met here is a wonderful person. We've talked about a lot of things and feelings have escalated. He lives a bit away but would like to visit and I would also like this. Last night things rose and he asked me to officially become his girlfriend. I have no problem in long distance relationships so that doesn't even matter on this.
    He is a wonderful person. I am developing feelings for him, I know.
    The problem is--
    I don't know if I want to wait for the ex to see if things change up on that and we get back together--I really do love my ex very much. I also don't want this new guy to become some sort-of rebound guy and I definately do not want to hurt his feelings--his friendship alone is very important to me.

    I would like to be with this new guy and test things out--see if things go well and maybe sparks could fly and I could be happy about it.
    But I'm so confused.
    I still love my ex and it's only been a short time since the break up. I know if he changed his mind and wanted me back I'd jump at the opportunity. I'm also afraid that if the ex comes back and wants to start up again that he will find out I was dating this other guy and not want me again...very confusing emotions going on.

    It's killing me.
    I need to answer the new guy soon over the matter.
    I keep thinking, "YES! It could possibly work!" but then I'm thinking I could only end up hurting him. I also am carrying A LOT of baggage and I'm not sure if I'm even suited for anyone...
    Any thoughts?
  2. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    Wow u seem to be in a difficult situation.:unsure:

    About your ex, if he wants to end all communication with you now, but then wants to get back together with you in the future, isn't that a cause for concern? I'm not sure why he wanted a break up or if this has happened before....but if he's done it once he may do it again?:huh: I'm not sure, but u wouldn't want to go through a break up again....but then I'm no expert.

    Hopefully I haven't :blink: u further.
  3. Tara

    Tara Guest

    erm, how about cooling it off with this new guy? stay friendly for a while, still get together and hang out and what ever. you could see what develops from there.

    That way its not official and if your ex happens to come back on the scene then you can decide what you want to do.

    Also why did he break up with you? are you sure you want to go back with someone that hurt you (by breaking up with you out of the blue)? if he didnt have a good explanation for why then i wouldnt give him another chance just like that!

    How do you know that what you'l have with new guy won't be better than with your ex? it could end up being the best relationship youve ever had. Plus, seeing as you've met him on here, i assume he knows about your problems, and he prob doesnt care about them, he likes you for you and he will help you get past your problems, and you can help him too (im guesing he has some too if hes here!) you could be good for each other!
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