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Dating for people with HIV

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lord.nigel, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. lord.nigel

    lord.nigel Well-Known Member

    im gay and a lovely man started chatting to me recently and openly admitted he was hiv positive. his bf had cheated on him while they were having unprotected sex and gave it to him. it appears to have changed his life.

    I was taken back by his honesty and what a great guy he seems to be. he expected me to stop chatting to him immediately. We have quickly become friends and there is a potential for something to happen in the future, if we both want it too. he has been through so much and is continuing to do so. it would be great to be there for him and look after him.

    What i found most interesting is that theres a lot of info out there for non hiv + hiv dating. in addition to things like condoms, the Prep medication seems like a good way of reducing the likelihood of getting it.

    everyone deserves to be loved and its nice to know that these sorts of things exist to make dating between people of a different status more possible.

    if anyone has more experience on this topic, i would love to hear it.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think hun the best person to talk to about how to keep yourself safe in such a relationship would be your doctor or an aides clinic who would have the latest advice on how to keep you safe The last thing your partner or friend would want hun is for you to get ill. hugs
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    As an HIV sufferer myself, as you know :p I am quite knowledgeable. Never ever have unprotected sex, not even unprotected oral sex as there is a risk of transmission. Of course there are things that lessens the likelihood of transmission, such as the HIV positive partner being on ARV medications with a viral load of undetectable. There is a lot of talk here in the UK of started HIV positive people with HIv negative partners to reduce the risk through an undetectable viral load. But the only way to be 100 percent safe is to use condoms. Condoms are designed so if they ffail, they fail catastrophically so you will know instantly if there's been a protection issue, then you can access PEP treatment to reduce the risk of transmission if there has been a failure, but this is only designed to be a kind of one off accident as you can become resistant to the medication. The medication can have very nasty side effects. You can get more advice from your local sexual health clinic. But like your new date, I got it unfortunately through no fault of my own, neither did my fiance. There are many people out there who you would never suspect of having HIV. We are not all promiscuous gay, druggies, prostitutes like the stereotype suggects. I am a 22 year old, straight female who has never touched drugs are had any other sexual partners in over 6 years who is a registered nurse. I do not fit the stererotype at all.