Dating sites...do they work?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by 2-D, Aug 3, 2010.

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  1. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    this is more out of curiosity then anything else, but what is your oppinion about dating sites? Are they worth the money they ask of you, what would u say to a mate who had confided in you that he was using one - and just; do you think its fair/right/moral to charge people to help them find love? And would u use a dating site if other methods of meeting people dont work for you
     
  2. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    Believe it or not, it worked for me (finally). My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and we met at a free dating site called OKCupid. Granted, it took a lot of time but it paid off. Personally, I feel that if you can't seem to find anyone any other way, it doesn't hurt to embrace other options.
     
  3. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    i guess so, ive been toying with the idea of actually gettin a subscription to one; but with my head messed up the way it is and that i seem to have an aura that repels people (even over the internet) i dunno - loves over rated imo
     
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't try it for the world. The idea doesn't sit well with me on so many levels, and I doubt the majority of people find love on those sites. The idea of paying to put a profile up there, again...no way. I don't do cutboard cutouts of myself.

    If I was in your position and I had a mate looking for love on a dating site; and depending on how close we were, I'd tell them my opinions..while trying to stay out of their business, because I naturally would be worried for them.
     
  5. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I'm totally in love with a girl I met on craigslist a year ago, and she's helped tons towards making my life liveable again. I say go for it, and the free ones are probably better - the people you're looking to meet don't want to pay either. OKCupid is a popular one these days.
     
  6. Edgar Roni Figaro

    Edgar Roni Figaro Well-Known Member

    Statistics show that fully 1/3rd of all people now form relationships from dating sites. And of those 1/3rd many are educated and simply don't have the time to do traditional dating.

    I met my wife on a dating site we have been together for 5 years. I find learning about a persons interests and belief systems before meeting them to go on a date is much more effective in finding someone that you share the same values with rather than the traditional annoying dating scene in which it might take you weeks only to realize you have nothing in common with the person you have been dating.
     
  7. Chameleon76

    Chameleon76 Well-Known Member

    Personally, I've never used one, but my gut feeling tells me it would be a better way to meet someone than alot of the alternatives. Like bars/nightclubs, where everyone's judgement is impaired by alcohol, or being fixed up by someone on a blind date, which could get very awkward if you have nothing in common.
    Seems like a safe, comfortable way to get to know someone a little bit before actually going out with them.

    If I was interested in getting into a relationship, i'd try it.
     
  8. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I think dating sites are a great idea. I agree with Edgar, I believe some people just don't have the means or time to date traditionally.

    But be careful. You can never know if the person you're talking to is really who they say they are. When you meet in real life, arrange for it to be in public.

    As for charging, well it probably helps run the site itself. They need to buy food and stuff too, after all. :p
     
  9. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Oh, paid dating sites aren't all bad, I suppose (ads can pay for the site easily): they keeps out trolls, lowlifes, and bots. Whether you choose pay sites or free, look for popular ones.
     
  10. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    I was thinking of match, if i were to - but i dont know, £77 seems like a lot (6 month sub, seems the best deal) - but i doubt myself too much and would tend to think it would never work :(
     
  11. chjones21

    chjones21 Well-Known Member

    Well even if it doesn't 'work' --- you will probably have fun trying. Going out on a lot of different dates with lots of others.

    One I heard of is mysinglefriend.com which is where a mate puts it up for you so you don't have the embarrassment of having to describe yourself. So it sorta goes "my mate Becky is fantastic, she's a great friend, she's really kind, she's funny and sporty - but she is a terrible driver so take the tube/bus if you go out with her..." etc. etc. etc.

    It does mean you don't have to describe yourself and as far as I know it is free, I think.... ?

    It is probably a lot easier if you don't have to do all the blurb yourself and can get a friend to do it for you.

    I would say go for it --- what have you got to lose?

    One friend of mine, who unfortunately got divorced after 15 years of marriage - but she is still young-ish only 34 but with three young children (12, 9 and 6 years old), she couldn't find any time to date (!) so she joined match.com and found a LOVELY guy (also divorced but his son not living with him) and they are getting married in December and all the children get on and, as far as I know, so do the ex-es .... so I think it can work out really well.

    Just don't expect anything from it but be open to whatever there might be ... it could be great fun.
     
  12. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    My cousin met his wife online. He has some kids.

    It's not awkward. It happens all the time.
     
  13. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    I think you'll be find 2D. A lot of different people are on these sites, including folks who are shy or otherwise self-doubting. You may find yourself better able to express yourself and who you are than you otherwise would in real life or face-to-face. When I was chatting it up with my current girlfriend (who lives close to me), we were able to be upfront with each other about a lot of things, which allowed us to gauge one another quickly and know what were getting into.

    I personally recommend OKCupid.com. I've got nothing against the other sites, but OKC has worked for myself and a few others I know, and it's become popular. Best of all, you can really narrow down what your looking for. I was able to choose the girl I wanted and, perhaps most importantly, be sure that she was living near me. Granted, I know I got lucky but who says you won't pull it off too ;)
     
  14. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    I must admit, for someone who does not drive, its annoying when you cant search in an area less then 25 miles >.<
     
  15. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    It started as a joke going to a dating site, so I could send a message to a friend of mine, in the end people started messaging me and now im seeing someone, I first talked to online for a few months and finally got convinced to meet >.< Just found it nice that someone got to know me and knew about my depression and stuff before we meet and i had to tell it then >.< And they could run away, scared by all the drama crap..
     
  16. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    Mmmm, I think Match might be the only option for me cause there are people in my town on there and im really bad with directions, so keeping local would probs be best, but im just not sure if £77 is worth it
     
  17. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Maybe just try OKCupid first. It's free, and probably has members in your area too.
     
  18. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    Mmm, there are no matches with in my immediate area, min is like 13 miles, which ok - aint so bad, but the fact is i tend to get lost in open feilds cause my sense of direction is mind-numbingly poor
     
  19. chjones21

    chjones21 Well-Known Member

    Well probably anyone you eventually end up meeting with, is always going to want to meet in a public place like a restaurant, cafe or bar just for security's sake. So you will be meeting in a town centre I would have thought --- rather than turning up at their front door after wandering through some fields to get there. I think that is highly unlikely they will give out their home address initially....!

    Well, good luck with it whichever one you choose and hope you get to meet some nice people eventually.

    There is also something called E-harmony that does a whole profile matching thing... you could always look into that too but that definitely is NOT free.

    Although, I always had thought match.com was free so just goes to show that I don't know anything but they will give you an extra six months if you don't find anyone in the first six months, right?
     
  20. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I've met 2 girlfriends, 2 really good friends, and 1 person who I'm kinda dating at the moment on a free dating site. Sometimes you have to look further away than your local area but it is possible to meet some really great people. Personally I wouldn't pay for a dating site, you just have to be more wary of liars and weirdos on the free ones.
     
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