It makes my heart hurt to read this. My oldest daughter and I have been having some issues for the past several months. I wasn’t sure exactly why - but then she was visiting a few months ago (Jan)- and she picked a fight for no reason (Not just my opinion but opinion of others who were there) - and started saying all this really mean/horrible stuff to me. She was very intoxicated - and her younger sister told me that she (her older sister) didn’t even remember what she had said to me. I’ve never understood that. When I argue, I never take “low blows” - but she’s like her dad (my ex). If I made a list of what would hurt me the very most, she hit all of them.
It‘s been tough because we were ridiculously close - I was the parent who did EVERYTHING for her and her sister. Financially. Emotionally. EVERYTHING.
But then I became sick. And worse. Stuck in bed. A shell of my former self. And I feel like she blames me for it. As if I am choosing this live. She and her husband came to town during COVID19 instead of being stuck away from family. They were here for 4 weeks. She spent 2 days with me (not full days - partial days - and one of the days was my birthday so prob felt obligated). I’m rarely on FB - but I looked while she was in town. All these photos of her/son-in-law w my ex and her stepmom. At their new lake house. She told me it was more fun/enjoyable to be there vs stuck in 2 bed apartment with me (I’m staying w my boyfriend bc of how sick I am). Acted mad bc I wasnt at my house. What really upsets me is that he only has that lake house because he hasn’t paid me child support money.
sorry - this wasn’t supposed to turn into a rant about me. my heart just hurts for you. I understand how you are feeling - at least partially - my issues are recent with her. But our communication has basically stopped. We used to text every day. Sometimes for hours. But not anymore.
I hope things change for the two of you. I wish that your sons would step in and help. My youngest daughter has started doing that - she’s upset with her big sis w respect to how she’s been treating me.
feel like I have a hole in my heart. Sounds like you have the same. Sending you a hug from one mom to another. Keeping you in my thoughts.
I'm really glad that you have your younger daughter and that she sees what's going on. I wonder why, when you put so much of yourself into a child, especially that one, who you dote on, like you said give your all to in every way turns on you? I suspect in my case. But, I can't turn back the clock. I just thought that she would realize how much I love here and see how I cared for her as a baby and I don't know, just forgive me. I left her father, but still tried by joining PTA, trying to steer her in the right direction. When it was apparent that she decided to leave me, it felt like someone ripped my heart out. It's like a death, but worse. Then comes some anger. Back and forth. Guilt. My boys, one also can be mean the other neutral. I di think the mother gets it bad and I've heard this from other sources.
I appreciate you sharing your story. I wonder if she realizes that you didn't get a lot or no child support and this is how he's able to afford the lifestyle he has now. I hate it when the other parent looks like the good guy. My youngest daughter is from a different a different father and I get $30 per week for her. Ha. She's with me 7 days and nights per week. And I try to tell her this us why her father us able to take her out all the time. He is at least a decent human being, unlike the other one.
I've heard of other children, adult children, I mean doing this. It doesn't make it easier. When it first happened I was devastated and shocked and mourned. Now, it comes in waves. Guilt creeps in but those close to me have assured me that I'm a good person undeserving of this treatment. I'm sure this goes the same for you
@Chiefsfan!
Their stepmother refers to her as her daughter. I'm not petty and can share love. I've always kept a low profile and maybe that was part of the problem. My daughter is capable, intelligent and I'm here. Sorry I'm rambling now. Please, if you ever need reach out to me. I'm here practically every day.