Daughter took her life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by alexdupare, Jul 18, 2013.

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  1. alexdupare

    alexdupare Member

    It is coming up on the 1 yr anniversary of her taking her own life, she was only 21, and my only child. She was my whole life, I lived to help her. Now she is gone, and I cannot find a reason to live. I may take my own life on that date, dying on her grave. I just need someone to talk to, I have no one.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Please don't go through with it. Here if you want to talk, you can PM me anytime.
     
  3. LexiRN

    LexiRN Active Member

    Wee, now you have someone to talk to in these forums. I lost my brother to suicide and attempted suicide myself 2 weeks ago...I tried to leave my family behind, including my husband and children. Today I am thankful. Some days I am mad I failed. People who are hurting...and we are here to pick each other up. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat as well. Stay safe...
     
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    There are a few who have loved and lost family members to the act of suicide - there is support here. Use it while you can :)
     
  5. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i'm sorry for your loss... that's got to be so hard on you.

    please don't go ahead with it.. greef takes time to heal and it will pass i promise
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I lost my son two years ago. He was 18. He was a skilled musician, a model and actor (Disney TV series), and a kind and giving heart. Do I know how you feel? ABSOLUTELY. If I took my own life, I would not be honoring him -- I'd be saying that what he did was right. Instead, I focus every waking moment in an effort to try to tell my story, to help educate awareness, to foster my community in a manner that assists young people in knowing there is hope, by appearing on TV, at events, in the newspaper, and sitting on councils for mental health improvement in my city and my county.

    Find a way to continue remembering, in a positive way, your daughter. Celebrate her life and use this situation to help others from ending up in OUR shoes.
     
  7. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry to read this. I have no words, except that I am here if you want to talk....
     
  8. otakugenx

    otakugenx Active Member

    I am soooo sorry. I wish I could help. :hug: Just please don't do anything.
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am sorry for your loss. But know, you are never alone.. there's always someone who is willing to help.
     
  10. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    There are no words to describe your loss, but as Pick said, if you also take your life, you cannot live in your child's memory. Please call upon us to be there for you...with deepest condolences
     
  11. alexdupare

    alexdupare Member

    Came so close tonight, it was hard, I cursed everyone I could think of until I realized it was all me. I found a<mod edit - methods> and I held it, then put it back. I also thought about calling 911 because I didn't trust myself. I am semi-ok now though, might make it through another day.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2013
  12. alexdupare

    alexdupare Member

    No, I lied, I am not ok. I feel numb. My therapist asked me if I was ever in love. The last time I remember was when I was 23, I am 49 now. I self medicate because my brain won't shut off. I beat myself down so hard tonight that I gave myself a headache. I don't know if I will last out the week.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2013
  13. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Do you have a crisis line for therapist / mental health team you can call? Please keep talking here as well ....

    Be Safe

    Ben
     
  14. alexdupare

    alexdupare Member

    Thank you, but the memories are the hardest, they hurt the most.
     
  15. alexdupare

    alexdupare Member

    Sure, 911. There is an adult stabilization unit here, but i have been there 3 times under a Baker Act, but they do nothing for me. The worst thing is my best friend of 20 yrs berrated me and put me down so far into the ground because as she says "suck is up, cupcake, that''s life"
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2013
  16. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry hun so much pain I do hope hun you have reached out to a therapist someone who can help you get through the pain Oh nothing one can say hun but please hun please hold on hugs
     
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