daughters atttempts.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by total eclipse, Jun 28, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just a note to say my daughter overdose of pills yesterday has totally devasted the ones she was to leave behind. She not only is killing herself she is killing me her father her brother and everyone else but yet she continues.
    Anyone here that thinks they are not destroying another life with their suicide attempts i am telling you now you are wrong. I am dying inside with each of her attempts i want to lie down and just go with her. Totally drained
    and devastated she also ended up in ICU twice now with vent and tubes everywhere. I don't know what else to do for her I have gotton her all the support i can I continue to try to get her into a facility that will help her addictions I just want her happy and safe please understand you not only kill yourself you kill the ones left behind. My brother last fall killed himself and I was not there for him I blame myself for his death. I should have been there and helped him His death is just another nail in my coffin I wish you would understand please don't kill yourself the devastation you leave behind the pain you pass on to your loved ones and i know you don't want that.
     
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Thank you for posting this. Most of us here usually try and tell those in crisis to think of those that they will leave behind. It;s very positive to see the view of someone who would be in that position. I'm sorry your daughter is in such distess and hope that she gets the help she needs.
     
  3. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    My mother says exactly the same thing. I listen to this.
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Thank yoou Mary, maybe this will sink in to at some of those thinking of ending it.. I am suicidal but between meds and therapy I have a handle on it..I wake every morning wanting it to end. But as far as commiting I have put that behind me.. It would take something devastateing to trigger me into commiting..
     
  5. Ash7614

    Ash7614 Active Member

    I've had 2 friends in the last couple years committ suicide and i've seen the damage it leaves behind.. including other suicides and attempts.

    I've made many attempts and everytime i can see my family die a little more with me.

    this is what gets me through now.. I know it's not easy to stop feeling this way but i would never want to make anyone hurt the way i do.

    At the same time though, i struggle to believe that anyone could truly miss me that much because i don't think i'm worthy of their love.

    I hate myself and i think i'm a bad person even though i know it's just my judge talking and i should learn to accept that maybe people do love me.

    It sounds like your daughter is struggling to feel like she deserves to have people miss her.
    As true as your love is for her, maybe she doesn't feel she deserves it or it'll soon be forgotten.


    That's just how i've felt anyway.


    I hope things pick up for you and your daughter.
    You sounds like a fantastic and strong mum to be sticking by her through everything.
     
  6. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I too admire your courage and efforts. Please understand that we daughters and sons often know the toll it takes on parents but so bad is our pain it surpasses the will to hang on just a bit longer and we feel really bad about the effect it will have but simply just can not bear the pain.
    Again you are quite an amazing mother and I wish you were my mom or that my mom cared half as much.
    I know there is a group for parents of kids that are attempting so if you want more info on them let me know but I can't recommend POS cuz the founder is way messed up.
    B
     
  7. Bubble

    Bubble Well-Known Member

    100% agreed
     
  8. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I often tell people on here how their suicide would affect those around them so thanks for giving those people a first hand account of just what it's like.
    I'm sorry you had to go through this, i cannot even imagine how it must feel for you :hug:
     
  9. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    I don't find this helpful. Why not pour more pain and guilt on people who are already at the end of their tether. We don't do it for sport you know, and we already know all this. Thanks!
     
  10. pisces

    pisces New Member & Antiquities Friend

    I dont think the intention was to pour more pain and guilt.
    My brother is 45 and due to the circumstances that have driven him to plan his suicide he has moved in with me and my husband with every intention of puttin his affairs in order this week and carrying out his plan next week at some point,i have to tried to see it from his side because i have been in the situation where i could see no end to pain and torment i was treated for PTSD, although i did not consider the extremes my brother has and a totally different set of circumstances and thats why i have joined this forum to try get get a better understanding. suicide either the contemplation of it,carrying it,or living with the knowledge that someone you love wants to do this is hard for those who want to do this and just as hard for those who care,the pain of that is no more or no less just different
     
  11. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Really great thoughts have been raised here in my opinion.

    I share with Ignored that none of us needs to have the whole" suicide is selfish" trip laid out yet again, we have all heard it a thousand times and most do not agree with it.
    I think we all agree that those who attempt or commit are not dealing with feelings that nobody loves them but rather feeling not at all connected to any love that there may be out there for them. In other words they just don't feel that love to the extent that it eases the pain they have inside-the pain suicide will take away immediately.

    Ignored I don't think the original poster was intending to give a lecture at all or least I didn't take it that way. Suicidal thoughts are hard on those who care about us and she is dealing with it like a friggin champ. I for one think that it is great that the impact on others inspires some to hang on-my pain is not be offset by such thoughts but I wish they were.

    There is so much pain on SF I just wish I could take everyone's away but I try to do a bit each day and hope that your daughter's pain is eased too.

    B
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2009
  12. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I'm really sorry about your daughter... :sad: As a mother it must be horrible to see your child suffer in such a way. I hope she gets the help she needs. :hug:
     
  13. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I assume your daughter will be put in a psych ward for several days if not weeks. Have you thought about having in committed? I mean if she is that suicidal she needs to be protected from herself as obviously she is getting her hands on means/methods to easily.
    B
     
  14. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    Thank you for posting this as well. It makes me think when I'm having my "bad" moment the repurcussions of my suicide. My daughter has almost assured me that if I were to take my own life, she'd follow.

    Her dad is not in her life and I'm all she has. I have to remind myself every day that I have to keep living for her. She is just 11 and so bright and smart. Reading at a college level in the 4th grade.

    It would be a utter waste of two lives. I can't leave her behind.
     
  15. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I never felt suicidal until my daughter did it. Now have lost counts of attempts I have made, most of them my family don't know about. I see a shrink and I think she is sick of me as well, she says "you don't have to come and see me". So I am losing my support as well. Maybe she just doesn't want to have to do a statement for coroner.
     
  16. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    Yea with my attempts I know my parents, my family are hurting. My dad blames me for my mom going to see a therapist, and it probably is my fault, but this pain im in is probably 100x worse than the pain they see their son is dying. Maybe not, what was said above "we don't do this for sport" is correct, Yes I'm sorry but the pain im in is something I don't want to contiune. Either way hope you and your family gets through this.
     
  17. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thank you for all your thoughts and replies and i do understand that the pain overides all clarity when people do try to committ suicide. I lost my brother last year he was 40 I still blame myself for not being there for him. My daughter pain is much coming from being sexually assaulted at a young age and then again in college. I understand her pain i do and i wil do anything to ease it. i have gotton her all the support and will continue to until she gets healing. It is hard to see her suffer. I hope you 11 year old daughter joy and your pride for her success in school will take away much of your pain. Please know i am not lecturing anyone i just want everyone to know how much pain everyone feels. I did not let them take my daughter to psych ward i insisted she stay home with me so i could keep her safe until i get her into detox Please know i hope all of your pain can be diminished through therapy and medication and friendship here on the forum, take care mary
     
  18. Maylin

    Maylin Well-Known Member

    I often here this as an argument against suicide, but can you actually ask another human to live in a terrible life just to spare the family? I think that is quite a selfish reason to avoid someone comitting suicide.
     
  19. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Each has their outlook on what suicide brings you see it as me being selfish asking someone not to committ suicide because of the pain that is left behind the devastation and guilt passed on to the survivors. I see suicide as someone who wants out of their pain yes as i do greatly but i could not be that person to cause others pain that is me i have never ever been one to cause others pain but then you may have a different belief and i cannot say what is right or wrong for i am not in your shoes. I just know the pain i have suffered with my daughters attempts and my brothers suicide and i know he would not want me suffering this way either. Death is final no more chances to live a different life no more anything.
     
  20. Maylin

    Maylin Well-Known Member

    Yes we all see things differently, I just want to say sorry for coming in this thread being all negative :love:
     
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